What do you do when your husband becomes violent and emergency services had to come for me and the police come for him?

He went to jail and I went to wawahospitalhospital. I know he has anger problems. He's 64 and looking at 7-10 years incarcerated. What if he dies in there. I know i shouldn't care, bu i would feel pretty bad. I'm the one who suggested him moving out to a small apartment. He's contemplating it. I'm glad for that.

CM,
If the OP does not return to thank you from across the pond, allow me.
Thanks!

God bless America! - I just knew you'd be ahead of the game compared to us in the UK.

Christine, go to http://dvis.org where you will find a helpline number for an organisation based in Tulsa that can help you AND your husband together. DVIS stands for Domestic Violence Intervention Services, and the both of you need their help.

This part:
"Now I sit here and think well he can get out of my house now."

Not a legal or fair option.

Drop by your nearest senior center today. They will put you in touch with social services, referrals, and Area Council on Aging to help you get a plan.

Take care of yourself!

Christine,
Sorry you are hurting emotionally and physically. The care of your husband's illness has become too much for you. There is no shame in that.

If it is not too late, placing him (maybe in assisted living?) might allow the two of you to remain together if you go too. If not, it falls to you to arrange for his care elsewhere.

The problem lies with the fact that in domestic abuse, you might get blamed and charged for abuse, a felony. And here you thought lying to keep him home was doing him a favor?

Police are extra cautious in domestic abuse, because, (in an example) the wife will call for help and actually attack the police to defend her abusive husband! It is a volatile and sick scenario. It is ongoing, often a long term dysfunctional relationship that escalates and becomes more dangerous - to you both.

Now that you are over the shock of not feeling supported, I urge you to take care of this situation because you can.

In the meantime, when things start to escalate, exit out the nearest door and stay
outside, breathing deeply. Do not go back in to fight. Drop the subject, get something to eat.

Many hugs! A difficult and scary situation to be sure.

I'm not sure why you would lie to the police? Surely your safety is more important than his reputation?  Sounds like this is a situation where professional intervention is needed, not a do it yourself deal. I think you are in real danger and need to talk to the police about your options.

Just curious.

How did you expect him to react when you slapped him?

What caused you to start the
physical violence?

Your profile says nothing about Dementia but does he show signs.

I guess u lied because you gave the first "slap".

Next time, if u feel threatened leave and call the police and don't lie.

You need to decide what you want to do about this. Physical fighting with your husband is no way to live, is it? Stop lying to the police and the agency and let them help you before something really bad happens. He won’t go to jail. He will go to a hospital where they can help him.

I think you need EMS to take him to the hospital. He needs to be tested for a UTI.

If no UTI, he needs an involuntary psychiatric hold so they can trial meds to calm him down.

What did you do the last time th i s happened?