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I am not having an affair, but he continues to think I am. Last night, I got up to go to the bathroom at 3 am and when I came back to bed, he started screaming at me that I was out all night and started slapping me. I was able to get away and slept downstairs. This morning he didn't remember anything about it. A few months ago, the same thing happened and he tried to choke me. What should I do?

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He tried to hit and choke you? He needs to be in a home. It is not safe for him to live with you anymore. Have you looked at care facilities for him to stay?

It's a hard terrible choice to make, but if he was not a violent person to begin with, he would not want this for either of you. For your safety and his, it's time to get outside help.
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My dad started saying that about my mom (in addition to other things). He didn't get violent with her or me, but he started sleeping with his cane "just in case." Fast forward a couple of years and he has dementia, do get your husband evaluated sooner than later.
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Have you talked to his doctor about this?

If this is a new symptom, it represents a "change in mental status" and needs to be reported to the doctor who is following his dementia.

Has he been checked for a UTI? Could it be that he needs a medication adjustment? I like to think of dementia as "broken brain syndrome"; depending upon the kind of dementia, you never know just HOW the broken-ness is going to express itself.

Involve his doctor in the solution to this; clearly, if this situation continues, it will change your ability to care for him at home. Make sure the doctor understands that this is a game-changer for you.
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this happened to my mother and father, and eventually, she feared for her life and told someone. dad went sent to hospital, and it was determined that it was the beginnings of dementia.

if it was me, i'd make a change before it's too late!
God speed
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I should start this off with what is his diagnosis?
This can be common with Lewy Body Dementia or Alzheimer's.
You need to protect yourself.
You need to place him where you will be safe as well as him.
He needs to be evaluated and on proper medications. The reason for the proper diagnosis is that the medications for Lewy Body are/can be quite different than with other Dementia. If the wrong medication is given to a person with Lewy Body it can be fatal.
Protecting yourself is priority. (A friend of mine woke up when her husband had his hand around her throat and a knife in his other hand)
PLEASE talk to your doctor about this or his. This is not something that he is aware that he is doing it is the disease but the outcome can be bad either way. And if you are injured you will not be able to care for him properly, and it will be as if your family is suffering two losses.
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Sounds like he has mental health issues. Has he been evaluated by a professional? If not, that needs to be your next step with him.
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1. Your profile indicates dementia for spouse - this can and, from what I read in various posts, does occur. Typically if this is not his normal behavior, it is because of the dementia. Since he does not recall this the next day and you do not indicate any daytime issue, most likely this is the condition "talking".
2. Others suggest getting his doctor involved - ABSOLUTELY.
3. Depending on what Doc can do (as others say some medication can help) will determine what direction you need to go.
If medication helps, great. Again, from reading other posts the right medication may be a trial and error game - some work, some do not and from reading other posts the cause of the dementia is important (may need neuro doc for this, not just a GP/primary care).
In either case, until you can find a solution (it may be getting him into a care facility), can you sleep in another room, preferably with a lock on the door? It does not sound like there are issues during the day hours, so to protect yourself a locked room would be the way to do that while you get working on resolving this.

Final note: IGNORE Dontask comments. He/She does NOT even support your statement about not having an affair. I would NEVER listen to someone who quite clearly doesn't trust you! Typically the responses, suggestions, explicit instructions and run on about his/her own experiences often have NOTHING to do with the question posed. This is NOT about who owns the house, nor is this *really* a police matter. The man has dementia and this is NEW behavior, so clearly there needs to be a medical intervention - either medication or placement elsewhere, but meanwhile the poster can protect herself if she can sleep in another room with a locked door while working out what needs to be done.
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He sounds like typical dementia. Get him to the Dr. If he resist call 911 next time and they will force him to go. This is abuse ,even if it is dementia.
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You have good guidance here. I would just tell you that my aunt was married to a man with Alzheimer's and she became frightened of his night time delusions. The last two years she slept in a separate room with the doors locked.

You must preserve your safety while you are trying to help stabilize your husbands behavior. This is not your husband doing this, it is the disease. You must protect yourself from this disease and he would want you to. It is hard, but if he harms you seriously, you will not be able to care for him. Protecting yourself is also a way to protect your husband.
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My husband is 76 and has just started with dementia. He also accuses me of having an affair and when I go the bathroom he believes I have been out all night. Keeps poking me during the night to see if I am still in bed. Cannot go to another room to sleep as he will really believe I am out all night.
Just another phase in the sickness. I have told my husband if he hits me he will be place in a home. Says he would never hit me ,but you never know.
Stay safe..Do what you have to do to protect yourself..
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