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DannyB Asked February 2019

Care recipient who normally does daily routine things, like getting out of bed and going to toilet without help, has "selective" difficulty. What next?

The care reciever will get up in the night to go to the bathroom without physical assistance. They use a cane and a rollator to ambulate.


There are two care providers. One care provider does more "assisting" than the other care provider.


One care provider observes that the more "assisting" seems to make the care receiver less able to do the two daily routines mentioned.


When the care provider that does more "assisting" has other obligations, like work, the other care provider has a more stressful time with care receiver.


Any thoughts for both caregivers?

JoAnn29 Feb 2019
Not trying to be rude here and you are not the only poster to do this but writing in 3rd party is so hard to follow.😊

Your profile says you r moving in with a mother who has Alzheimer's. Has this happened? I am assuming that one of you is home all day, the other holds down a job and helps when they get home. One caregiver feels the mother doesn't need as much help as the other caregiver gives?

Yes, like children, an ALZ/Dementia person is very able to play one caregiver against the other caregiver. Lets say its the DIL she is taking advantage of. But the son walks in the parent acts like she has no problem doing for yourself. And if she is capable the DIL should not play into the "I can't do it". Not helping Mom or the caregiving. Its hard enough without having to wait on someone who can do it for themselves.

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