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Beepie Asked December 2018

My family and I have been keeping Mom at home. She has dementia. She gets so agitated sometimes she’s hard to control. What can I do?

When she gets agitated, I try to distract her, but a lot of time it just doesn’t work. I’ve read so many articles about what to do. It’s so difficult, and she’s getting worse. I don’t know how much longer I can be a caregiver. My health is suffering.

anonymous272157 Dec 2018
Freqflyer has great advice.  The only thing I might add is to see if her doctor might have something to help with her agitation.  She'll need that even in a  NH.

freqflyer Dec 2018
Beepie, caregiving of a parent is really tough. Please note that up to 40% of family caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were caring. Then what? Chances are the family will move Mom into either Assisted Living/Memory Care or into a Nursing Home.

I wasn't even hands-on with my own parents, and I had crashed and burned twice from the stress. I was a senior taking care of much older seniors. Not a good plan. We just don't have the energy to keep up this pace.

Even if the whole family pitches in to help, it is everyone's first rodeo. Sounds like it is time to have the professionals at a senior living facility take over. They have been on thousands of rodeos and know exactly what to do. Plus, after their 8 or 12 hour shift, they get to go home and have a good nice sleep.

Call a family meeting. Then figure out if Mom can budget for Assisted Living/Memory Care, or if Mom would need financial help through Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Get the ball rolling now.

The family can still care of Mom even if she is living in senior care. There are still decisions that need attention. Doctor appointments. Clothes to buy, etc.

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