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Abigail24 Asked December 2018

My father passed away 9 months ago and my mother is in the stage of anger. Any advice?

When my father was still alive, he sometimes was awful to my mother. He verbally abused her at times and it made my mother sick mentally. He often cheated behind my mother’s back and likes to ‘show off’ his mistress to my family. But there are also times that he’s a goofball & a total loving Father.


Before my father passed, he was having an affair with a younger woman and this made a big problem against his side of the family. His side of his family supports his affair (my dad's family doesnt really like my Mom) while my mother’s side disagrees with it (the affair.)


When he passed, my mother was still heartbroken because of the affair. She talks illful about him and sometimes she was ‘grateful’ he was dead. She even rejects to visit my Dad’s grave once in a while (its sort of a tradition in my family to respect the dead/visit the grave once in a while) Then, she started seeing a friend of her that is already married. She states that he is only a supportive friend, but I’ve seen them together and I know they are more than friends. This hurts my feelings and I often cry without my Mom knowing. She hangs out with him since my Dad passed and I dislike the guy because I feel my Mother is trying to make us happy again with his presence. I do not feel happy at all. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How should I act in front of my Mom’s friend? I just dont want my Mom to keep her anger towards my Dad for so long, especially when he’s already dead.


Thank you for all your response in advance.

JoAnn29 Dec 2018
You sound young. Don't think telling Mom she is wrong will be appreciated.

Have you experienced an adult relationship? You can't really expect a woman to grieve for a man who cheated on her and rubbed it in her face. And his family thinks its alright.

No I don't agree with the married man. If she pushes you to except him kindly tell her no thank you. If she wants to date him or whatever she calls it, thats OK but you really rather not be involved.

Don't judge. You haven't been thru what your Mom has.
Abigail24 Dec 2018
Thank you for your answer JoAnn, I appreciate it :)
KCRR390 Dec 2018
Forgiveness is ::) hard,but necessary. It frees your energy to use for other things.

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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2018
I would remind her how she felt as the wife of an unfaithful husband.

Doing this to another woman may feel like revenge but wrong target.

I told my dad I didn't want anything to do with his girlfriend until she dealt with her marriage, period.
Abigail24 Dec 2018
Thank you :)

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