My 89-year-old mom is in hospice care & is not expected to live much longer. She is comatose & getting comfort care. She has been declining for the last year & the final straw occurred 2 weeks ago when she fell & broke her hip (Or vice versa). My 92 -year-old father is anxious & panicked about it. (They have been married 68 years.) He constantly says "I don't know what I'm going to do." Despite all kinds of verbal support from friends & family, he cannot find the calm in knowing that she is being cared for & is no longer being tortured by pain & medical procedures.
His "plan" was that HE would die first. Now that this plan has been disrupted, he has intense, persistent, worry that consumes him. And it affects everyone around him. He has always been a worrier & overthinker, but this is over the top. I'm tired of being nice - I would like to tell him that I understand how upset he is & provide no further verbal response. I feel so sorry for him, but he's driving everyone crazy. I'm going to follow up to try to get some anti-anxiety medication for him. I'm also going to enlist bereavement support from the hospice, but other than that I don't know what else to do.
Once again, I'm turning to this forum since it has been so helpful to me. He has no hobbies, no real interests, has serious macular degeneration, & is very hard of hearing (has hearing aids). He's not outgoing either. Any advice is most appreciated.