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Kmarie, I understand you not wanting to share much information, but I’m glad you did.

Your mother should now have a caseworker or someone at the facility you can speak with. You need to advocate for your father and tell this person where your mother was Baker Acted that she is a danger to herself and to others and can no longer live in your home.

Where were you when the person was speaking with your father? If you know what was said, was this a face to face conversation? If so, you should have spoken up and described what you witnessed. If this was over the phone, why didn’t you call the person back and say, “Wait a minute. You do not have a true picture of the situation.” Your father is afraid of your mother.

If you were a witness to the head slap, you should have called the police immediately. What if, God forbid, she becomes so angry and out of control, she goes to the kitchen and grabs a knife? My uncle did that to my aunt.

This is much more than “embarrassing”, my dear. This is downright dangerous. Your mother is out of control, and probably has been for a while. Your father has been too frightened to say anything about it. But now that they live with you, you are witnessing it. If you don’t advocate for your father, who will? Your mother cannot come home. Refuse to allow them to discharge her to your home. If it’s too late and she’s already there, the next time she shows any sign of going off the wall, video it. Show the video to the police.

Sitting by, witnessing this abuse and doing nothing is not an option.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Why are they asking your father's opinion about bringing her home when she (they) live with you, if you feel you don't want her back you get a vote too! I think too often docs and other authorities are blasé about abuse when it is a woman abusing a man, would they have the same opinion if the roles were reversed??
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Thank you . I am sorry. I did not want to write too much. She is verbally and physically abusive. They are both 80. The just moved in with me 2 months ago.

so far she has threatened to leave, by plane tickets and all. This was because she asked him to get her a glass of water, and I got up and got it. she hit him in the head.  Then changes her mind. the other day she told him she took a bunch of pills.  So I called 911. they took her away. I am in florida, baker act. she had to go. She is now in a care facility for 72 hours. I found the pills in the bathroom garbage after. It is just mind games. This is embarrassing. But I do need some advice.

The dr called him asked him can he deal with her at home again. He said well, I will try. They asked if she was abusive he said well , she did push me once. but she does not mean it.  He said but verbally yes. He defends her. 

Do I have the right to call or say?
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Reply to kmarie60
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kmarie, we need more information if we are even going to try to offer advice. If feel your father is in immediate danger, call 911. If this is an ongoing thing, call your local Adult Protective Services office and report her.
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