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Eleni67 Asked November 2018

How do you deal with parent who lives in Europe and won’t accept help?

My mother lives on an island in Greece. She has early signs of dementia, difficulty seeing and hearing and can’t smell anymore. She has at least 8 cats that spray, urinate and defecate on her floors, walls and furniture, but she doesn’t realize this is happening. She spends about 40-50 euros a week feeding these cats, but only gets $600 a month. She also still drives and won’t give up her license or car.


Recently she agreed to come to America in the hope of renewing her driver’s license. She is staying in our cottage in our back yard since it’s one floor and she still smokes and I don’t allow smoking in my house since my infant and baby grandchildren visit frequently. I think for her safety and my peace of mind I will insist she not return to Greece. Am I selfish or realistic in this? She is already becoming very contentious and childishly difficult in the fear this might be what I’m planning. Deep down I know this is the right thing to do for her, but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do for me. At 92 she can no longer take care of herself but she won’t let me help her either.

Isthisrealyreal Nov 2018
By law, unless she has been declared incompetent you can not make her stay.

If you tried and she called the police you could be charged with false imprisonment and that is no joke.

Are you ready to face all the consequences of forcing her against her will to stay, and all that will bring into your life?

If she is happy in Greece, please do not try to take her quality of life away for quantity. She will not appreciate you for it.

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