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Tiredandsad Asked November 2018

85 yr.old parents, large home, a lot of upkeep needed. They don't want to communicate with us about a plan for making it simpler. Advice?

Pool, flooding basement, etc.etc.etc. talking about simplifying lifestyle...Goes nowhere. But I am expected to be there at all times to take care of these things. I work and have health problems and my husband is willing to help them out but they refuse to even talk to him when these occasioms arise. Mind you he has been around for 45 years helping them when there has been a need. Now they have it in their mind that we are to be aware and assess all there material needs such as when pool needs to be cleaned, patio furniture put away, house repairs and on and on when we are struggling with our own home care. We are willing to help but instead they will call someone from their church and make them aware of their needs and I call to see if they need help and they say someone is taking care of it. We tried to call you... (once ) so you did not answer. Then they make it appear to others we don't care to help. Mind you we live half a mile away. They do not want to communicate with any of their children about a plan for making it simpler or helping out. I am frustrated and feel guilty all the time.

JoAnn29 Nov 2018
Why should u feel guilty. You have done your thing, let them ask for help. If someone says anything tell them they always expected you to help but lately think you are a mind reader and when you don't jump they call someone else.

All you can do is ask them why. Tell them to ask and you will do it As soon as you can. Remind them that you have health problems and husband needs to take care of your house too. If they chose to hire or ask someone else, thats OK but please don't tel, them you don't care. Thats not fair because you have done.

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