What if your parents refuse care? What if they can't pay for it in the first place?

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Iamstellar Asked November 2018

What if your parents refuse care? What if they can't pay for it in the first place?

I am married w 3 kids at home in Louisiana. We cannot move. My parents live in Arkansas. They refuse to move closer to me. My mom needs 24/7 care. My dad is no longer capable of giving the care she needs - filthy home, not bathing regularly, forgetting meds, etc etc. Everyone has told him what to do to no avail. They have hardly any income. Just enough to buy supplemental insurance, but that will end soon.

All I can say is HELP!

Paying for Care Refusing Care

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score 2 · Answer 1

The unfortunately hard truth is that he can do what he wants and unless your mom complains, he gets to drag her with him.

You can call the local law and request a wellness check. If they see anything concerning they will intervene with APS, possibly moving one or both parents out of the house and into hospital or psychiatric care or foster facility and the odds of them being separated are high.

We have to do what we have to do, just know that once the government gets involved through intervention it is a completely different ballgame. Not necessarily a bad thing, just know what you will be facing.

Stubborn seniors, grrrr!

Helpful Answer (2)

Ugh. I know what you said is true.

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score 3 · Answer 2

Call their local Area Agency on Aging. Every County in the US has one. Tell them your concerns.

One of them will fall or become ill. When that happens and your parents, or the hospital reaches out, remember that you are not legally responsible for their care. Let the State take guardianship and get them help.

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Thank you so much.

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score 1 · Answer 3

Will they qualify for Medicaid or a similar program? These programs are designed for people who truly NEED the assistance.

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My mom is on Medicaid but my dad says they don't qualify for assistance. He won't allow me to see his finances. Is there a way to get a welfare check od some kind?

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What if your parents refuse care? What if they can't pay for it in the first place?

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