Need advice on how to deal with toileting issues.

Thanks everyone. My mil has lived with us for over ten years. These incidents have recently begun within the past year. I appreciate everyone’s input and find comfort knowing we aren’t the only ones experiencing this.

Its time for someone to be with her when she goes. If she isn't wearing pull ups maybe its time. They rip down the sides to help in getting them off easier. I gave Mom her privacy and she called me when she was done. I had Huggies available. They are big and thick. I had a trashcan with a lid next to the toilet. (not one of those swing type) I like the ones that the lid fits over the edge. I lined it with a plastic bag. All the soiled items went in there. I had a nail brush available too. No, she won't like it and either will you but not much else you can do.

I could not help a man doing this while I worked with him alone several months until I had to leave my position to find different work. A relative had left him in a board and care facility for others to care for him.

It sounds like you all will benefit from putting MIL on a toileting schedule every few hours when someone accompanies her to the bathroom and helps get her clean afterward. UTIs can be caused by poor hygiene, and you don’t want one of those.

Is this a recent change, that might make you think she's having some new difficulty with her bowels or with routine personal hygiene, or has your MIL only just moved in and it's an issue that's part of the whole picture?

If it's a change from normal, ask her about it. Say you can't help noticing that xyz and want to help. The less embarrassed about it you can manage to be, the less uncomfortable you will make her.

If she's new to the household and you're all adapting, that's trickier. What care needs were you aware of before you took this job on?