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D
desperada Asked August 2018

85 yo mom was hallucinating and is delusional. Any advice?

Checked for UTI and blood sugar levels, blood sugar high but no UTI. Due to the fact that she had wandered off thinking there were people coming through the tv and were in her apartment, I requested she be admitted to the psych ward. So far all I've been told is that she can probably no longer live alone. I'm at my wits end. She usually does not take her meds when she's around me even when I try to encourage her to do so. She usually tells me off. I'm afraid they will release her tomorrow because she's been so "sweet, and such a joy". I have three kids and a husband at home and I don't want her to live with us. She keeps telling all the staff that she doesn't want to live alone. I don't think she will take whatever meds they have her on once she gets released and we'll be right back where we started. I guess this is just a rant. I think assisted living would be best, but there doesn't seem to be many that take Medicaid. I was trying to work with someone to help me get her qualified, but got interrupted by this last crisis. Will a social worker try to mediate between my mom and me and try to persuade me (in front of my mother) that family is the best place for her? I wouldn't want my mother to hear me say I don't want her to live with us.

Ahmijoy Aug 2018
If Mom does not cooperate with you, then she absolutely cannot come to live with you and your family in your home. You and your husband and probably your kids as well will spend your days and nights convincing grandma people are not coming out of the television after her. She is “showtiming” for whoever she’s with right now and convincing them she’s all sweetness and light.

If she’s hallucinating to that degree, she’s beyond Assisted Living.

JoAnn29 Aug 2018
First, there r meds for Moms problems. Second, yes she has gotten to the stage she can't be alone, Third, no don't take her in. Your children and husband are ur priority,

ALs usually don't take Medicaid and if they did, u would have to private pay for at least 2 yrs for medicaid in some instances. Other option would be Medicaid in a NH. Tell them she cannot live with you. It will be easier getting her to a NH this way then bring her home and try.

Your Mom will only get worse from this point. They get like children only worse because you can't get them to understand. You will constantly be on your toes and have her 24/7 and miss out on your children's accomplishments. And Mom won't have the ability to appreciate what u do.

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BarbBrooklyn Aug 2018
So, someone in authority says she can no longer live alone?

Ask whoever says that "what is the plan for her care"?

The fact that she can't live alone does not make you responsible.

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