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jlturn11 Asked July 2018

What do I do if my visits upset my mom?

JoAnn29 Jul 2018
I would ask Dad how she is towards him. Does she lash out with him?
Does she know you as her daughter or are u a stranger to her. If Dad says she is like this with him then she may need a medication.

Daughterof1930 Jul 2018
I’m sorry you’re getting this treatment from your mom. I hope you’ll continue to visit and help your dad as I’m sure he can use the break and the assistance. I’m sure he looks forward to you coming. Try to remember it’s the disease, not your mom, and go about helping quietly with as little upset to her as possible

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Ceecee65 Jul 2018
Yes, continue to visit in order to give your Dad a break.
Look up Teepa Snow on the internet. She has so many videos on why those with dementia behave the way they do and how to handle it.

wally003 Jul 2018
has your mom always acted like this to some degree towards you?

if its a strange new behavior, many people suggest it could be a UTI

I know when my dad was being hard to manage his AL told me to go have him checked for a UTI.

it could also be the AD

when was the last time she saw a dr? sometimes a geriatric dr is best.

oh and yes continue to support dad. when theres AD. sometimes you have to ignore the behavior and not take it personal

jlturn11 Jul 2018
My parents live 2 hrs away from me. My dad is caring for mom, who is in middle stage of Alzheimer’s. I started coming home every Wednesday to help give dad a break and to spend time with mom. When I walk in the door I am greeted with looks of anger from Mom. She yells at me to go home and says she doesn’t need a babysitter. I calmly tell her I just want to spend time with her. She yells bull sticks! Today I have been here 4 hrs and she won’t look or talk to me. My concern is this: am I causing more harm then good? Should I continue to visit to give my dad a break

wally003 Jul 2018
can you explain more on your "visits" and her "reactions"

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