Right. And my mil lives with her son and I in her family home and still asks to go home. Not sure what "home " she is speaking of. She thinks her home is in Grand Rapids, MI but she has never lived there.
Jeannegibbs has it correctly. You can't make a dementia person remember something. My mother (she died a few months ago at 89) would say the same thing. I'd gently remind her she was home. I'd remind her she owned her home free and clear (a fact she was most proud of). She'd pipe up an "oh!", and she'd be happy. Of course, she'd ask a couple times a week, but I'd repeat...and repeat...
I found out the hard way that there is no point in trying to convince them that they are home. My husband would agree that the we shopped together for this floor lamp, and this is the painting his golf buddy gave us for our wedding, and all these family albums are about our family. And then he'd ask to go home again. Sigh.
If your mom has regressed in her memory to thinking she is 30 years old, she may mean the home she had when she was 30.
Many people think "home" symbolizes a time when they were safe and the world made sense.
But whatever "go home" actually means, you cannot reason someone with dementia out of wanting to do it.
Try going along with her and then changing the subject.
"I wish I could take you home right now, but the area is closed because a gas line erupted. At least we have this nice house to wait it out in. I know that there are dishes in the kitchen just like you have at home. Let's go have a slice of pie on those familiar dishes!"
"I'm sorry that the bridge has been declared unsafe and we can't get you home until it is fixed. If we could go home right now, what is the first thing you would do?" (This may give you some insight into what she is really longing for, and how you can satisfy that yearning at least partially.)
I'm not sure how much of a comfort it is, but wanting to "go home" is extremely common in dementia, even for folks who are literally in their homes.
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If your mom has regressed in her memory to thinking she is 30 years old, she may mean the home she had when she was 30.
Many people think "home" symbolizes a time when they were safe and the world made sense.
But whatever "go home" actually means, you cannot reason someone with dementia out of wanting to do it.
Try going along with her and then changing the subject.
"I wish I could take you home right now, but the area is closed because a gas line erupted. At least we have this nice house to wait it out in. I know that there are dishes in the kitchen just like you have at home. Let's go have a slice of pie on those familiar dishes!"
"I'm sorry that the bridge has been declared unsafe and we can't get you home until it is fixed. If we could go home right now, what is the first thing you would do?" (This may give you some insight into what she is really longing for, and how you can satisfy that yearning at least partially.)
I'm not sure how much of a comfort it is, but wanting to "go home" is extremely common in dementia, even for folks who are literally in their homes.