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Hurtbabygirl Asked May 2018

Should I take my mom, who has dementia and is in AL/ MC to see my dad who is in a SNF? They have been apart from each other since Jan. 31.

My mom seems to have adjusted really well. She is getting involved in activities now. I try to take her once a week to see my dad, but when we get back to the AL/MC, she is so confused. She asks me why are we there, why am I leaving her, etc. She is like a little lost child. She still remembers her husband and wants to go see him. Am I making it worse by taking her out of her familiar environment or is it better for her to see her husband of 66 years even with the confusion?

Ahmijoy May 2018
How does your mom react when she sees your dad? Does she really recognize him? Can they have a conversation that pretty much makes sense? Are you bringing her back to her former home or to another facility? What feedback do you get from the staff when you leave? How long does it take her to settle down? Do they think it’s a good idea for you to take her out weekly? If it affects her settling in, I’d think twice about bringing her out.

One of the issues with Alzheimer’s is that one never knows from day to day which loved one we’re facing. Unfortunately, people with this awful disease only get worse, not better. You’ll have to keep a close eye on her behavior, listen to the staff, and if she’s having an “off day”, don’t bring her out.

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