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vincal Asked January 2018

Is this the beginning of the end?

Grandma is 96 with severe Alzheimer's disease, has been bedridden for the last couple years and thanks to my mom's care she does not have any bedsores, 2 days ago she suddenly started vomiting, and developed a fever.Was admitted to the hospital with a Dx of Fecaloma, pneumonia, and UTI. Her heart is also enlarged. She is not a candidate for surgery due to her age so the doctors are treating her non invasive for the fecaloma. My mom said she is not in ICU yet and today she looked better than the other days. Her doctor said she is in a delicate condition but stable. I don't know if I should fly to see her or not, one day she looks like she will make it and the other not. Please help me make a decision. I appreciate any input. Thanks.

Cdominguez64 Jan 2018
Given their age and no hospice option, I first wonder what Country do you live with such vigor at an old age?!?! All nations should take notice.
I agree with the others. When they fall into that transition in life, the end is detoured by something. Some say "unfinished business". If there are family members who haven't visited in a while, it may be a good time to reconnect. If only to say "I love you, it's ok to let go, goodbye". A phone call would be enough. She could also be worried about who will look after her husband if she were gone.
Perhaps a visit from your clergyman to give the last rights, a private confession. Whichever she is comfortable with. Her soul needs peace as well.
I pray your answers are met and that you are at peace as well. When we are in this side of thst state, we learn how to cope. For the next one, and the next... But we will be on the later side only once. I wish you and your family peace.
Blessed be.

Cdominguez64 Jan 2018
Given their age and no hospice option, I first wonder what Country do you live with such vigor at an old age?!?! All nations should take notice. I agree with the others. When they fall into that transition in life, the end is detoured by something. Some say "unfinished business". If there are family members who haven't visited in a while, it may be a good time to reconnect. If only to say "I love you, it's ok to let go, goodbye". A phone call would be enough. She could also be worried about who will look after her husband if she were gone. Perhaps a visit from your clergyman to give the last rights, a private confession. Whichever she is comfortable with. Her soul needs peace as well. I pray your answers are met and that you are at peace as well. When we are in this side of thst state, we learn how to cope. For the next one, and the next... But we will be on the later side only once. I wish you and your family peace. 
Blessed be.

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vincal Jan 2018
Thank you to all of you. You guys are write, I just change jobs and I was to start the new one soon, so I email the HR and who is going to be my manager and explain the situation, they were very nice and are allowing me to start later. I will start looking for a fly ticket now.thank you again. I will keep you update.

SueC1957 Jan 2018
Go! Especially if you want to see her before she passes.

Grandma's life span, even without ANY medical problems, is only a little while longer.
Realistically, this may be your last visit with her.

Your poor grandma has to endure many invasive procedures. That can weaken her energy.

Your mom could also use the help and moral support too.

Veronica91 Jan 2018
If you can visit I think you should go. At her age anything can happen.

Countrymouse Jan 2018
I agree with CW - go and visit if you can. If your grandmother recovers, perhaps this might be a good moment to support your mother in looking for additional help in caring for both of them. It certainly sounds like an awful lot for her to be managing alone. How is your grandfather coping with the upset?

cwillie Jan 2018
It sounds as though they are doing everything necessary to keep your poor grandmother comfortable. I'm glad the enemas are helping, from my quick research after reading your post I was under the impression that surgery was the only option. Even so your grandmother is very ill and very old,I think  it would be wise to make a visit and help your mom out if it is possible for you to do so without causing too much hardship.

vincal Jan 2018
Thank you for your answer cwillie. Unfortunately there is no hospice in my country. the hospital is the only options we have there. Grandma is being treated with enemas, antibiotics, ng tubes, pain meds and iv fluids. The doctor told my mom the enemas have being working, but the issue is not resolve yet. I think I should go to see her and also to be with mom during this difficult times. My mom is not young either and she take care not only of grandma but also of grandpa who thanks God is in a good condition only the typical bothersomes of being 98.

cwillie Jan 2018
Since your grandmother isn't a candidate for surgery this severe fecal impaction is very likely to end her life in the near future, if you wish to see her I would not wait too long. Has your mom brought in hospice?

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