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JaneDonn Asked December 2017

My 81 year old sister wants to come home for Christmas from the SNF. She has only been there a few months. What to do?

The social worker is discouraging us. What to do? I want to please my sister but have mixed feelings about her not wanting to return to the SNF. TIA.

JoAnn29 Dec 2017
Who would be responsible getting her there and back? Will it be easy to get her in the house? Can u keep it small. My Mom didn't do well with the noise of kids and adults. Plus, there were unfamiliar faces. She only lasted about an hour and wanted to go back.

jeannegibbs Dec 2017
What many people with loved ones in care centers do is bring the holiday to them. For our mother, we reserved an activity room in the nursing home. My sisters and I brought holiday tablecloths, centerpieces, pretty paper plates, etc. and organized a pot luck, focusing on things Mom liked. We lined up crock pots and platters and pushed Mom through the buffet line first. There were about two dozen of us. That would be way too much commotion for her in any of our homes, but spread out in a very large room it was fine! We did that for more than one holiday.

We never scheduled our family party on the holiday itself. The center did awesome meals and parties on those days. We didn't want to interfere with her enjoying those. We did our Christmas party early in January, while the building still had its decorations up.

Cwillie has some good factors to consider.

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cwillie Dec 2017
I see some of the people at mom's nursing home go out occasionally and it obviously isn't a problem for them or their loved ones, there is no cookie cutter answer. You know your sister and should have an idea whether bringing her out would cause problems, consider...
Has she tried to run away? Has she been obsessed with going home? Has she been out for any other events or appointments and has she made a fuss about going back? Is she feeling unhappy at the nursing home? Is she physically and emotionally stable enough to enjoy the hustle and bustle of a family gathering, or might it be too overwhelming?

JaneDonn Dec 2017
Yes, slight. But she's had several strokes so her memory is not good from the strokes. Some of the time she is quite lucid, other times she's confused. It's hard to tell if her confusion is from the strokes or dementia. Thanks for answering me, my heart is breaking that she may not come out for Christmas and I am so very sad.

jeannegibbs Dec 2017
Does sister have any dementia symptoms?

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