I'm an only child. I recently had a health scare and it's because of this scare that I decided the next time Mom develops a fever from whatever, I'm putting her on hospice and letting nature take its course. I love Mom dearly with all my heart - but I need to get on with my life and, hopefully, meet a partner to care for me as I've cared for both of my parents. Mom has no quality of life and I've just been waiting for something to "take" her...My goodness...Old World genetics just keeps this woman going strong! I don't regret my decision to care for both parents and I believe The Universe (others say God but it's all the same...tomato...tomahhto...) wanted me to learn from the very tough lessons from caregiving to mold me into the person I'm destined to be. I try to find the positive in the most negative, stressful time of my life!
I remember telling my Dad how overwhelming it was for me to help him and Mom. I reminded my Dad that when his Mom needed help there was a whole village of relatives to help, 15 people who would take turns. Same with my Mom's side of the family for her parents.
Since I and my parents had lived many States away from both sides of the family, I was "it".
Only Child 🧒, only caregiver, only relative that cares, only ear available. I know many complain about siblings that don’t help, but I think I could benefit from having a sibling, if nothing else, just for distraction! That way my mom’s attention, dislike, disappointment, worries, anger, love,..etc would not be only focused on me..the only!! It’s a lot of “onlyness”!
Only as well. So change my screen name to Igloo14???
My parents had me very - as they would say - very late in life. Mom in her 90’s going into LTC while we’ve got one in middle school. Cousins much much older & their kids more my contemporary. It’s been an interesting viewpoint to bridge.
Igloo, Same here! my cousins are closer to my mom’s age than mine..and I’m even younger than my cousin’s children! That definitely adds another ingredient to the isolation because, at least in my case, I don’t have cousins-friends and don’t necessarily fit in the group of their children either. It’s weird, I’m not only “an only” but also an oddity in other ways! :-\
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I remember telling my Dad how overwhelming it was for me to help him and Mom. I reminded my Dad that when his Mom needed help there was a whole village of relatives to help, 15 people who would take turns. Same with my Mom's side of the family for her parents.
Since I and my parents had lived many States away from both sides of the family, I was "it".
I know many complain about siblings that don’t help, but I think I could benefit from having a sibling, if nothing else, just for distraction! That way my mom’s attention, dislike, disappointment, worries, anger, love,..etc would not be only focused on me..the only!! It’s a lot of “onlyness”!
My parents had me very - as they would say - very late in life. Mom in her 90’s going into LTC while we’ve got one in middle school. Cousins much much older & their kids more my contemporary. It’s been an interesting viewpoint to bridge.
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