Why does my father think he needs $300 to carry in his pocket?
He goes off with family, we pay for everything he needs . He asks for $300 every wk. He gets so angry when he doesn't get it . To the point he cusses at me about it.
MJC, it's got to be some kind of obsession, needing the money to feel more control and safety. My dad did/does same thing. I would typically pay for everything if we were out, or certainly could have hit an ATM if he really needed something, but he would get upset if he didn't have access to as much cash money as he thought he needed. He never needed it. The money is just to feel some sense of independence and control, I think.
I remember on one trip where I was driving him to visit his mother's grave in a nearby state, he insisted (INSISTED) on withdrawing far more money than needed from local bank, and wanted the money in mostly $5 and $10 denominations. He put the big roll of money in his front shirt pocket. I told him he was advertising for a mugging and I think he moved some of the money in another pocket, but... you get the idea. It isn't a rational thing, so I wouldn't look for a rational answer to "why" if I were you, just try to figure out what will appease your dad. If dad doesn't actually keep track of the money, and just wants his $300 dispersement every week, can you secretly remove some of the stashed money and just give him back that much? "Recycle" his disbursements, if you will. He won't accumulate more than is safe but he'll get the feeling he needs of having "enough" money.
Is it that he wants $300 total in his wallet or is it $300 per week building up towards a grand per month?
Why is this a problem? My father, a 92 year old man, has carried money in his pocket since he started wearing long pants - around the depression era. Yes, we take care of him and anything he needs out of our own pockets, but this man spent his adult life taking care of his family. He was dirt poor growing up and when he finally started making good money at a government job, I think having cash on hand made him feel secure and successful...so when pop asks me to give him $40 out of his ATM when we've done his weekly grocery shopping - and I know that his wallet is already full & that money is just going to sit there - I give him the $40. It's his money. If he wants to set it on fire or pick his nose with it....oh well...not my business. He needs this "security blanket" to feel like the independent man he always was, now that he's dependent on me for so many things.
I suggest that if your dad is tucking $300 per week away EVERY week - you should talk to him about setting a monthly limit - maybe cite the possibility of him getting mugged - and then you can re-stock to $300 weekly if needed.
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I remember on one trip where I was driving him to visit his mother's grave in a nearby state, he insisted (INSISTED) on withdrawing far more money than needed from local bank, and wanted the money in mostly $5 and $10 denominations. He put the big roll of money in his front shirt pocket. I told him he was advertising for a mugging and I think he moved some of the money in another pocket, but... you get the idea. It isn't a rational thing, so I wouldn't look for a rational answer to "why" if I were you, just try to figure out what will appease your dad. If dad doesn't actually keep track of the money, and just wants his $300 dispersement every week, can you secretly remove some of the stashed money and just give him back that much? "Recycle" his disbursements, if you will. He won't accumulate more than is safe but he'll get the feeling he needs of having "enough" money.
Why is this a problem? My father, a 92 year old man, has carried money in his pocket since he started wearing long pants - around the depression era. Yes, we take care of him and anything he needs out of our own pockets, but this man spent his adult life taking care of his family. He was dirt poor growing up and when he finally started making good money at a government job, I think having cash on hand made him feel secure and successful...so when pop asks me to give him $40 out of his ATM when we've done his weekly grocery shopping - and I know that his wallet is already full & that money is just going to sit there - I give him the $40. It's his money. If he wants to set it on fire or pick his nose with it....oh well...not my business. He needs this "security blanket" to feel like the independent man he always was, now that he's dependent on me for so many things.
I suggest that if your dad is tucking $300 per week away EVERY week - you should talk to him about setting a monthly limit - maybe cite the possibility of him getting mugged - and then you can re-stock to $300 weekly if needed.
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