The mental gyrations we go through as caregivers are mind-boggling. How many agree?

i maintain an even keel most of the time. Then every once in a while i feel a wavie of panic and anxiety. It make's me worry that i will break down when she is gone. What's weird is that i have gone through losing 2 very good friends of mine and I made it without losing my mind. But with mom- when she goes that's it. Neither my spouse or I will have any surviving parents.