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GoingLoony Asked July 2017

When is it time to put someone into a nursing home or memory care facility?

My husband has become verbally abusive even though he calls it just talking. He is very repetitive and the constant berating and accusations of infidelity are causing me much stress. I have medical issues of my own and I can't take much more. I am his primary care giver and we don't live near other family members. I need a break. I'm not a selfish person but my own health is at risk.

freqflyer Jul 2017
GoingLoony, have your husband's doctor prescribe some medicine that will help calm him. It could make a world of difference. Also have the doctor check your husband for an Urinary Tract Infection as that can make a person become abusive, antibiotics can help cure the UTI.

If none of the above work, tell your husband's doctor that you need to place your hubby into Assisted Living/Memory Care. The doctor may or may not have to write a script for that. Then check out the local Assisted Living/Memory Care facilities. Usually these are self-pay, thus one would need to budget around $6k per month for care. Some States have a Medicaid Waiver program which would help pay for part of the monthly rent.

If the Assisted Living/Memory Care finds that your hubby needs a more skilled facility, then it would be a nursing home. These facilities cost much more. One idea is to see if your husband can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], thus Medicaid will pay for his care.

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