Mother is diabetic almost died 6 years ago blood sugar 753. She is abusive to most everyone and claims to be a victim. She has called the police on us kids the assisted living and everyone is scared of her. I don't know what to do. She refuses to go to dr. I would ask them for help. She does not remember if she eats or has taken her medicine. She pees her depends until urine soaks thru then goes stand by a heater to dry them. Claims nobody helps her but she screams and yells and lies. We are at our wits end to know what to do. I have thought of calling Adult Protective Services. Hoping to get some help. She wants to go buy a house. She would be dead in days. We beg the care facility to help us. We don't know what to do.

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Emergency, involuntary psychiatric placement. Make sure the facility where she lives has copies of your medical POA and inform them in writing that if they need to use the Baker Act you will not stand in their way.
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ALs living in my area do not have geripsych doctor on board. One is own by doctors so there is a Dr. Affilated but Mom's I took her to her primary. Now at the nursing home a NP for a psychiatrist comes to see Mom. ALs are limited to what they r capable of doing for a resident. Does sound like Mom needs to be evaluated and is ready for a long care facility.
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She's being kicked out of Assisted Living. She "refuses" to go to the doctor? Her plan is to buy a house? Sure, go look at houses. Stop by the psych's office afterwards.

Is there no geripsych at the AL? Is there a social worker who can guide You? Call the State Ombudsman and ask how you should proceed if you are being given 30 day notice and no assistance.

Yes call, APS and report that she's about to become homeless.

You can generally get an involuntary 72 hour psychiatric evaluation. It Florida, it's called the Baker Act.

If you have Medical POA, you have the authority to determine what level of care and what medical services she needs.

Pick her up for lunch and take her to the psychiatrists office afterward. You're going there because you've become anxious and depressed and you want mom's help in talking to the doctor.
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I have medical POA but she refuses to go to the dr. The assisted living is doing a good job of managing her blood sugar checking her 4 times a day and she eats there 3 times a day. We have tried to increase her care there which has made her angry because with that comes more costs. She had agreed to let my brother do her finances then changed her mind and accused us of stealing. We have thought of going to an attorney or calling Adult Protective Services The problem being she is extremely smart and sometimes you think she is doing ok
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Yes it is time to move Mom to Assisted Living/Memory Care. Or to a skilled nursing facility until her meds can be balanced out.

Curious if the Assisted Living where your Mom lives has med-tech where a certified tech goes to all the residents to give them their morning pills and evening pills, and she makes sure the residents takes those pills. The med-tech would also do sugar testing if a resident has diabetes and does the insulin.

Curious if the Assisted Living makes sure that all the residents have their 3 meals per day. If the resident isn't in the dining room, then her Aide would go looking for her. Of course if Mom refuses to go, there isn't much the facility can do.

Sounds like your Mom is having memory issues, or maybe it could be that her sugar levels aren't being kept at a level which could leave her confused. Maybe she refuses the med-tech to do a blood nick on her.

And we also need to remember with memory loss comes story telling. Like saying her Depends are soaked thus she stands by the heater to dry them. Or that she isn't being feed, etc. And wanting to buy a house, again that is the dementia doing the talking.

It is really up to the person who is the medical Power of Attorney to set up a doctor's appointment for Mom, not the facility's responsibility. Or is Mom actually in a nursing home? If yes, usually there is a doctor on board. Next time Mom acts up, time to call 911 and have her transported to the hospital where they will run tests. The EMT's know how to handle uncooperative people of any age.
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Dear Denise,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's condition. I know its extremely stressful. It does sound like there is lots going on but managing her medications is probably the beginning. If here sugars are not regulated that could contribute to her behaviour issues. I know its hard but Barb has lots of great suggestions. Keep preserving till you can get the help your mom needs. It does sound like she needs more care than assisted living can provide. Thinking of you.
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Is she on any meds for agitation and Anxiety? Is there a geriatric psychiatrist who sees patients in the facility?

Another idea would be to have her admitted to a senior behavioral unit or other inpatient psychiatric unit for evaluation and an adjustment of her meds.

It sounds as though she needs a higher level of care than AL can provide, but perhaps on meds, she'll be more tractable.

I would ask the facility to call 911 the next time she becomes abusive or threatening.
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