My husband has become verbally abusive even though he calls it just talking. He is very repetitive and the constant berating and accusations of infidelity are causing me much stress. I have medical issues of my own and I can't take much more. I am his primary care giver and we don't live near other family members. I need a break. I'm not a selfish person but my own health is at risk.

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GoingLoony, have your husband's doctor prescribe some medicine that will help calm him. It could make a world of difference. Also have the doctor check your husband for an Urinary Tract Infection as that can make a person become abusive, antibiotics can help cure the UTI.

If none of the above work, tell your husband's doctor that you need to place your hubby into Assisted Living/Memory Care. The doctor may or may not have to write a script for that. Then check out the local Assisted Living/Memory Care facilities. Usually these are self-pay, thus one would need to budget around $6k per month for care. Some States have a Medicaid Waiver program which would help pay for part of the monthly rent.

If the Assisted Living/Memory Care finds that your hubby needs a more skilled facility, then it would be a nursing home. These facilities cost much more. One idea is to see if your husband can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], thus Medicaid will pay for his care.
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