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Mollieundone Asked July 2017

Mom is constantly fixated on what's wrong and needs to be tended to. Any advice?

Mom is constantly fixated on what's wrong and needs to be tended to. Can't seem to please her and find myself resentful that she can't see beauty.

cdnreader Jul 2017
Dear Mollie,

I hear you, my friend. It is hard to cope when our elderly parents are angry, depressed or sad about their health or current situation. It is only normal and natural as the caregiver to be resentful. You are doing your best. I think sometimes its better not to try and change the way your mom is thinking.

I don't know if this change in personality is due to her meds. Or if she has been like this her whole life. I made a mistake. I too tried to make my dad happy, but in the end, I failed to accept that he was no longer happy after the stroke. I tried to make him comfortable but everything I did was wrong. I think I failed to realize how the dementia was affecting him. He wasn't my dad anymore. In hindsight, I should have gone to counselling or joined a support group. I needed to find ways to cope with being a caregiver to my dad. It was weighing me down. I hope you can find a better balance.

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