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Bjmccreary Asked June 2017

I am 63 and taking care of my mother who is completely bed bound with Alzheimer's and dementia. The home care agency pays for care.

Home care agencies here pay 8.00 an hour 40 hrs a week. It's been very difficult financially, her ss ck helps paying the bills. But not enough for home repairs ! Just last month my youngest brother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and I am caring for him also I have other siblings that call for support, but not willing to help physically or financially. I am single , divorced, and am a strong person. But Lord help me I don't know how I'm going to do this. I love them both and will not consider a nursing home. Financially I am having so much stress, the home care agency said I can not get paid to care for Him also or a pay increase !! This is just overwhelming. I don't have his help with yard care or home repair since he is already unable to even walk, wheelchair only. Is it legal to go to another home care agency for him so I can pay for help with him and home care out of pocket? I need some advice.

Bjmccreary Jun 2017
We live outside San Antonio Texas in a rural area. The home is mine and only have 1 1/2 years before it is paid in full, so selling is not an option. In Texas I do get paid for caring for my mother, just not a lot. I have heard of low income help but unsure how to contact them for foundation, pier and beam, repair. Any suggestions as to who or what agency to contact?

freqflyer Jun 2017
Bjmccreary, there will be a time when you would need to re-think a nursing home... you will crash and burn from the exhaustion and find yourself seriously ill.... then what?

Time also for Mom to sell her house "as is" and move into something more affordable, or use the equity to enjoy being in a nice Assisted Living facility. As for your brother, did he save for situations like this? If not, do not use any of your retirement fund to pay for his way... otherwise you will find yourself without things you need as you get older.

Medicaid is there for situations like this. What if you weren't around. Who would take care of Mom and your Brother?

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staaarrr Jun 2017
Where are you located? Here in NY, you cannot get paid to care for a parent, but you could get paid to care for your brother. Is this through Medicaid?
Does your local office of the aging have resources you can tap into? Here they will provide assistance for home repairs to the elderly at little to no cost.

I think you need to provide further detail for anyone to be able to give you useful advice.

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