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Tiredmary Asked May 2016

What to do about an older sister who's a bully?

I am the caregiver for our sister. This is it for the family. I'd love some help from the third sister, but she is has always ignored and/or bullied the sick sister, so the sick one does not wish to see her. We have a neighbor whom I am paying so I can get out once in a while for errands and lunch with a friend, but it's not fair! The other sister has manipulated this situation so that she doesn't have to help at all. I am very frustrated and exhausted looking at the future. Hospice is helping now, and their help is invaluable, but I still think I should not have to do this alone.

anonymous281963 May 2016
Kick bully has some suggestions, (mostly for bullying in the workplace), but the concepts are helpful.

NancyH May 2016
tiredmary, I'm sorry about your sister dying, but I'm also sorry that your other sister is going to miss out on saying goodbye. What a shame, and that;s something she's going to have to live with the rest of her life. You're doing a wonderful thing taking care of your sister till she's gone, and that's something you'll never regret when you look back on this. Forget the bully, let it go being mad at the whole situation. It'll be over soon enough, and life is too precious to stress about the 'what ifs' etc. ♥

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Calicaregiver May 2016
Mary, first of all...God Bless you for taking care of your sister. Second, I lived with the meanest, cruelest bully in the world my entire childhood. Nobody has ever dealt with the level of bullying I had to deal with. I eat bullies for breakfast! How did I conquer the bullying? You reach a point of "all or nothing" and just reach deep down inside you, and think of all the people in the world that are completely helpless, and defenseless toward bullies, and you strike back! Unfortunately, some people can only learn, and understand one language. So, it may be necessary to speak your bully sister's language long enough to make her understand. The other thing is, if your sick sister is receiving hospice care...well, I'm sure you know that she probably won't be able to recover, and it's about keeping her comfortable at this point. Find the strength to be your sick sisters protector. Turn into a guard dog if necessary. Bullies suck, and they are an unfortunate part of life for some. That doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. Stand up for yourself, and your sister that can't. I think you'll find that the bully sister will back down if she met with resistance as firm as her bullying. Good luck, and stay strong.

pamstegma May 2016
Bully sister needs to know that Hospice is in the picture. Inform her that time is very short, to come and say her good byes. This is her last chance to mend fences, come to resolution, settle differences and close on a positive note.

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