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DH and I have lived with his mom since 2003 when she had her stroke. The other siblings didn't want to deal. So now, 13 yrs later, the sister decided she hates her job, and doesn't want to spend her vacations here with her mom, so decides to move in with us. She quit her job and didn't tell her mom - just moved in. Didn't even get her a Christmas present either. Her mom is 87 and has dementia, but not to the point where she doesn't remember our names - it's just starting to head down that path. Anyway - she's lived by herself and never been married (She's 55). We have let her take over the care for her mom since we have been doing it for a long while - but we still participate in some things. The problem is that she complains about how we did it before she was there - how we had separate trees (we live upstairs so we had a tree up there) she had one downstairs. How we separated food, how she hated the microwave (she couldn't run it, and it died, but how she doesn't want to buy a new one. And how things should be divided into 3rds (her mom's mother's day dinner for example - Hubby and I were one, and she paid the other half). I dread coming home, and hubby knows sister is loony, but won't confront her. I'd love to move, but hubby says we can't afford it - and we'd probably lose 1/3rd of the house we are supposed to get that we could start our new life with. How would you guys handle all of this?

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Why don't you move out? Your husband could keep POA. This looks like a gift to me!
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Christmas tree? Okay, regardless- why should you loose your third of the house - you put in plenty of time. What does moms will say - that's what matters in the end. Also - does anyone have POA for mom? If not, get it done asap before her dementia makes it impossible to be handled easily. I also dont understand why you have an issue with paying a third - seems to me that benefits you since there are four if you and you plus hubby make up a half. Again, regardless - you and hubby did your part for a long time, if sister wants to take over - let her. You and hubby need to find a place you can afford, move out and get on with your own lives as a couple.
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Do you and your husband work? You said your sister (in law) quit her job. How does she support herself? You ask how would others handle it? I would sit down with DH and figure out a budget, find a place to live tha you won't dread comig home to & move out.
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I would say pixx on the inheritance, dig up my tree and move.
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Seperate trees?
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