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Akaheba Asked May 2016

I think it may be time to move Mom with dementia to a memory care home?

I've been taking care of mom with dementia for several years.  I'm still undecided for many reasons but eventually she will need to. Her house has a reverse mortgage so I'm wondering how that will pan out. Will the reverse mort. company immediately demand I move out? I realize I will have to soon enough, but I'm wondering how long I might have. At this point, I think I'd need a few months to save enough to move (I will need/want to move out of state). Of course, there was no mortgage to pay and mom didn't charge me rent (in exchange for taking care of her). I did pay for utilities. I definitely would'nt want to buy the house from the mortgage co, which I understand is an option. I'm hoping someone who has been in this situation can give me advice on exactly what will happen as soon as mom goes to a NH. How do they get notified? Am I obligated to inform them? Does it take time for them to ask me to leave or will they want me out immediately? We do get a form yearly that we need to fill out so I guess at that point I would have to send it in saying she is no longer here. That could give me up to a year to save enough to move, assuming they don't want me out the second mom is no longer living in the house. Thanks in advance!

socalJ May 2016
First of all, do you have Power of Attorney? If not, get it. Once that's done the mortgage company will speak to you. If the equity in the house is greater than the reverse mortgage loan balance, then yes, you want to sell it. Any money gained from the sale greater than the loan balance is your mom's and can help pay for her care. So, don't walk away from it if there is equity!! If you know a good realtor, they can help you as well.

freqflyer May 2016
Akaheba, if there is no one-year clause for your Mom to continue to keep the house while she is in the nursing facility, then you probably can walk away from the house since you are not on the mortgage nor on the deed.

As for notifying the reverse mortgage company, it is better to let them know.... if they find out on their own, the mortgage could become due and payable immediately even if there is that one year option to keep the house.

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pamzimmrrt May 2016
What I do when I called somewhere that wanted to talk to Mom or Dad was say that they were hard of hearing and I was thier POA.. then put them on long enough to tell whomever that they could talk to me.. never had any real trouble with this.. although sometimes they had to verify thier birthday or some such.. Have you tried this? Or ask for someone to come to your home,, and talk to them with her around.. maybe not right there but close enough to approve you speaking to them..

Akaheba May 2016
Wait - are you guys telling me I will be responsible for selling her house? What if I just want to turn over the keys to the mortgage company and leave? Can they really force ME to do this if I have no interest.

Akaheba May 2016
Thank you both for replying. I did look for any papers regarding her reverse mortgage - they are nowhere in the house. She did the reverse mort around 10 years ago, before she was diagnosed with dementia. At this point she doesn't even remember doing a reverse mortgage. I do know the name of the company, though -- as I said they send a form every year. I did call them last year but they refused to talk to me. They said they had to talk to the homeowner. I didn't pursue it at the time -- I knew my mom wouldn't even know who they were.....I guess I have some things I need to take care of.

freqflyer May 2016
As Pam says above, find the mortgage loan and read it line for line as not every reverse mortgage is the same. Lot depends on when the loan was originally written, rules and regulations have changed over the years.

Your Mom's reverse mortgage might allow the house to remain as is for one year from the date your Mom enters the nursing home, the reverse mortgage does this thinking your Mom could get better and return to the house. Someone would need to be responsible for the homeowner's insurance and the property taxes.

Or the reverse mortgage might only allow the above for a spouse.... then you might have to put the house on the market For Sale within 30-60 days with a Realtor, at market value, aggressively marketed. Again, depends on the rules and regulations of when it was written.

Or re-finance the house immediately to pay off the reverse mortgage.

pamstegma May 2016
Reverse mortgages foreclose very quickly, they give you about 60 days to find a buyer or buy the house yourself. Find the contract and read it carefully.

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