Am I right not visiting mom during GI outbreak at nursing home?

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I am in vanquish about this. Mom 91 has been in NH for a week and a half. The plan was for her to go back to ALF. She was recently hospitalized with a partial bowel obstruction. Not the first time this has happened. When I was notified that there was a gastrointestinal outbreak at NH and they had closed wings, cancelled all activites and were discouraging visits, I immediately contacted them to be sure my mother's symptoms were not being mistaken for GI if it was the obstruction. What was reported assured me. I have had regular updates. I sent her a letter though staff so she knew I was thinking of her and aware. Her temp has reduced, she is still having diarrhea which would probably not be happening with the obstruction. Staff says she is now very agitated asking if I know and is certain she has an obstruction. Staff says they cannot and would not prevent me from visiting but wouldn't advice it either until she is not actively presenting. I am torn up with guilt not going, but not sure I would do one bit of good if I did.

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Yes. I asked if they checked her for UTI. Thanks for the reminder. I talked to mom on the phone today. She has a hard time but i asked staff to turn on the speaker function which helped. She is doing better but still doesn't want to eat. They got her to try some toast and broth. I asked a nurse to show her the card i sent because i thought she might have forgotten or been too sick to notice. I will look for a laundry soap that will clean without wrecking. Thanks for the tip
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Make sure they check her for a uti, wwhich might be increasing her agitation and easy to get when you have diarrhea.
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Rosy you can get in-wash disinfectants now that won't harm the clothes but do a good job. In the UK they're made by Dettol, don't know what the US equivalent is but I'm sure there'll be one.
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This happened at my mom's NH a year ago Christmas. All activities cancelled. Visitors discouraged. It was hard on everyone, from the staff to the residents to the loved ones. But it is for the best and it doesn't last forever.

Hang in there!
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Thank you everyone who answered. The staff has kept me updated. I passed on a note and i will try to do so again tomorrow. She gets paranoid very quickly so i am never sure if she believes anything anyone tells her...even me. The staff told me that they cannot legally prohibit my visit, but that tells me a lot. They would if they could. I will take your suggestions. I am wondering if i will need to have all her clothes washed in bleach. Akk. It would ruin them ill ask
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Rosy, I sympathise so much with your predicament - horrible to have to stay away from your mother just at the time when you know she could use some extra support and affection.

But God willing this will be over before you've had much more time to worry about it. The purely practical thing to do is to follow policy, send her a daily email if the staff are up to printing those off in large font size for her, or a post card if they're not; and explain that everyone needs to practice good infection control for the sake of everyone in the NH - and that means no visitors.

But if it goes on too long, or if meanwhile something comes up that makes you want to check up on her and the care she's getting, then get over there and just be rigorous about procedure - hand washing and gel before, during and after the visit; clothes straight in the washer immediately after; go straight to her room, avoiding other patients; and definitely don't go if you have any kind of bug yourself. Ask the NH if they advise any other precautions: it'll earn you Brownie points with them, and it'll do no harm for them to know someone else is paying attention to how they're handling infection control.
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I catch things easily and so I don't feel bad at all for taking precautions to protect myself from illness. I'd make sure mom was okay and send her notes and maybe a photo to show that you are thinking of her and wishing her well. The staff should do their part to assure all the residents that the visits will resume as soon as the crisis is over.
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We had the same thing at our NH - they went on precautionary quarantine because they had a wave of Norovirus sweep through the building - so all wing doors (normally propped open) were kept closed, all room doors were kept closed for those who were ill and visitors were prohibited for those residents until they had the all clear on the illness. Visitors to otherwise healthy residents were allowed, but only family members, and no ill, very young, very old or pregnant were allowed in. And visits were limited to 15 mins each.
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My moms facility had a upper respiratory infection going through the building and had advised visitors to reschedule their visits. We were still allowed to visit, but we were forewarned. I think too, they didn't want visitors to bring in germs to make things worse. My mom had been just discharged from the hospital with UTI, Upper Respitory Infection so she was on the Rehab floor. It's hard when things are out of your control. I would call the floor, and asked how she was doing(she lost her hearing aid ) and the staff would pass along to my mom that I called.
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the situation is complicated by her very poor hearing and inability to hear on the phone. No it is not c. Diff. It is gastrointestinal outbreak that people usually call stomach flu. Nevertheless it is described to me as spreading like wildfire and needing bleach to eradicate. I just feel so badif she thinks ive abandoned her.
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