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grumpyotter Asked April 2016

Does anyone else have any good "sundowning strategies?"

I am evil! At least, according to my Mom. If I were a good daughter, I wouldn't keep her a prisoner! I would fix her spine so she could walk! I would help her stand up even though she hasn't been able to stand for over a year! I am so evil and awful and other foul-language things that i won't repeat. Sigh. I'm just venting, really, don't have a question. I try to keep a good sense of humor. When I try to help my Mom stand, because sometimes it is easier than trying to explain that she can't, THEN she gets mad at me for not telling her she can't stand. I find myself baffled and amazed at how our brains can turn to pudding. She wants to get out of here and I am keeping her prisoner! The one strategy that works fairly well is to call her grandson, my son, and have him tell her he will be coming to take her "home." It will take several hours for him to get there, though, so don't be in a hurry. My Mom is off the norm--she tends to do her sundowning about 2 p.m.

97yroldmom Apr 2016
Love your son. That is so sweet of him. Will your mom drink chamomile tea? I highly recommend it for you and her too if she would like a cup. I enjoy one that is a combination of caffeine free herbs called Tension Tamer. It will make you less evil and it will make waiting for her grandson more enjoyable.

grumpyotter Apr 2016
Thank you, Sunnygirl--yes--she has numerous anxiety medications and most days are okay and manageable. She just went on a real tear today, so I felt like venting. She is in hospice care, so i keep careful records of all her behavior and they are really good about suggesting alternate medications to try.

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Sunnygirl1 Apr 2016
It sounds like your mom is rather agitated. Is she anxious a lot? I might discuss medication with her doctor. If she is afraid that you are keeping her a prisoner, she must be in a lot of mental pain. I'd try to treat it. Perhaps if she was more content and less anxious, she wouldn't be so unhappy and unreasonable.

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