Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
C
CrazyCardinal Asked March 2016

My boyfriend and I live with my mom who has no respect for herself or us?

My mom was having an affair with a man and he basically screwed her life. It isn't all his fault, she let her business go under because she didn't spend anytime there but she doesn't see that it is their fault. She moved in with us under the pretense that we would her help her get back on her feet. That was two years ago. For the first year and a half she told us that she wasn't seeing him and there were multiple times when it transpired that she was and he had been round to our house without us knowing. We have been close to kicking her out before but she always plays the victim and at one point threatened suicide. We moved to a slightly bigger place so that she could have more room and she started paying us more rent as she now has a stable job. I recently found out that she has been talking to the guy that she had an affair with and he was meant tocome round our house. It also appears that there have also been multiple men off of dating sites that have been round. I know this because I went through her ipad as i knew there was something going on with her. She has stopped talking to my sister about anything and has stopped going to her therapist. I know I need to do something but I'm not sure how approach her. If she is ever confronted she just walks away and doesn't ever discuss it. Me and boyfriend are at the end of our tether. We want to have our own life but I don't want to lose my mom.

JoAnn29 Mar 2016
I agree. Time for you to lay it down. If she is considered low income, maybe Hud can help her with rent. I would not like strange men in my house when I wasn't there.

jeannegibbs Mar 2016
You agreed to help her get back on her feet. She is now employed. Good job!

Time to go your separate ways. Mission accomplished.

ADVERTISEMENT


Lilacalani Mar 2016
As Pamzimrrt said, move to a smaller place. Something affordable to you and your boyfriend, and not user-friendly to your mom. And as Tacy022 said, be ready to sever ties with your mom for an indefinite period, maybe years. She needs to grow up, and she won't with you as an enabler.

Llamalover47 Mar 2016
This arrangement will not work! Period!

pamstegma Mar 2016
You and boyfriend give her a deadline to move out. If she needs subsidized housing for the elderly, get her on a waiting list ASAP.

pamzimmrrt Mar 2016
To be clear,, it sounds as if Mom lives with YOU,,, not you with her,, as you are getting the bigger place. Now you have possibly multiple strange men in and out of your home? And you say she has a job now? Maybe it's time for you two to move back into a smaller place on your own, and she does the same, before you find yourselves robbed blind. You already know she lies... I know for myself I could not stand not knowing who was in and out of my home and stuff. And multiple men... WOW

Sorrynotsorry Mar 2016
Marry this guy. Any man that sticks around through all this is a keeper!

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter