Follow
Share

Sibling has divorced several times, left new boyfriend and lives with a daughter. Daughter does not want her there anymore. Now, sibling wants to live with mom to "help" her. I never get help except the bare minimum when she feels like helping. Mom is confused and lonely so she says yes come live with me, and tells me the total opposite that she cannot live with her other daughter. I know for a fact she is using moms apt. to stay at, makes promises she knows she will not keep, and I am getting all the stress of this. Her ex husband owns the house, he paid her off and kindly kept my mom there as he is a decent and kind person. My mom refuses to move anywhere as I have begged and tried. I have no room for her at my home but am trying to possibly move and bring her with me in the near future. Until then, the manipulation and lying goes on at her apt. I take care of everything for mom, and she still wants to stay where she is, I just don;t know what to do anymore because I dont know who is lying to me though I think both sibling and mom are playing me for a fool sometimes. Should I not go there as often if the sibling moves in? I dread it now.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Does sisters ex husband know sister wants to move in or has already moved in? Perhaps it isn't moms decision but ex husbands call on who lives in his property, especially his exwife. Regardless it doesn't sound like mom needs a place to live. She has one unless sister causes conflict. Do you know why your niece wanted sister out? It might give you an idea of what type problem you would have with her. I know you don't think she would follow through on any agreement, but if sister is going to move in anyway, why not draw up a contract that lists what and when sister will do to help mom? How will the expenses be shared? Guests or late nights that would be disruptive to mom. Tell her what needs to be done and what portion you are willing to continue with. Then perhaps you only need visit from time to time to check on how things are going. Take this break while sister is willing to help. If sister is true to course she will probably be gone soon unless she is too comfortable. When or if you see signs of abuse or neglect you can take action on moving mom or speaking with the ex husband for his assistance in getting sister out. Meanwhile two people who need assistance might be able to help one another. I do agree that mom could be playing you but you can rise above it with clear boundaries expressed to both of them. I know we read a lot about dead beat siblings but sometimes siblings come together in spite of parents manipulation. Do you have DPOA and MPOA for mom? Good luck with whatever course you decide on.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If you are not a party to a conversation, you should not record it unless you have the permission of at least one person in it (in a One Party consent state). If you live in a Two Party/All Party consent state, you need permission from all parties in the conversation whether you are in it or not.

mwl-law
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

No, I think Mom is playing Divide and Conquer. It would be a lot better if you stop letting mom drive a wedge between you and play you two against each other. Set up a nannycam and watch mom complain to her about you. It's a classic move called "Divide and Conquer".
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter