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DDDuck Asked March 2016

What do I do when my sister and nephew are blocking my attempts to get meals on wheels for my mom?

My mom is frail and thin. All natural symptoms of aging. I got same service for her years ago when it pained me how much weight she was losing. She got better became more lucid because of the meals. Now years later she is same. My nephew keep saying she dont want it and stop inviting people in her house she dont want in there. Also she had tooth extraction. The dental visit was a secret but when she came I could see. When I set up her meds next day the case and meds are gone. Im an RN. Im baffelled. What should I do.

cwillie Mar 2016
If I am reading your posts correctly your mom and sister were living together and you had to move in with them due to some unfortunate circumstances of your own. Sis has always been mom's favorite and you have always been the Cinderella of the family. The two of them resent everything you try to do in the home and make your life miserable, does that sum it up correctly?

Since you are now working you should move out. Do not invest any more money in the house. Once you are gone you can call APS and explain your concerns and they will investigate the situation. If they agree your mom is vulnerable they will hopefully take action. If they do not you will have removed yourself from a toxic situation and will need to take stock and learn to set boundaries and protect yourself from your dysfunctional family. Good luck.

Eyerishlass Mar 2016
What's the big deal about Meals on Wheels? It's not like they come into the house, sit down, and visit. Or is it a control thing with your sister?

Do you all live with your mom? You, your sister, and your nephew? Have you considered moving out?

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DDDuck Mar 2016
My sister and I live with her in family house. My sister and nephew try to eliminate me from her care. Say she is okay and overwhelmed with daily stress. They are in denial. Dont really check and see. She is good actress and pretends she got it toghether. I have always been her third hand from a child. I am also honest with her about the aging process and trying to get some intervention set up. the family situation is bitter. My parents always babied my sister. If she didnt want to doanything she didnt have to but I had to. My sister and mom often teamed against me as a youth. She left her sons with my mom and me because they werent allowed where she was. I have been the one cleaning shopping errands all my life. I had to move back in when my landlord sold her house. I have always done the cooking and cleaning and shopping. It has gotten so bitter that she and my mom didnt want me to watch the tv and she stood on a ladder to unfpulg it. also dont want me to use her phone. Im the only one who see her wasting away. She knows this. Just dont want me to ever be right. Id been trying to get her to get dental work for years. She needs intervention they are in denial and seem to want me out of the loop

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2016
Does your mother live alone? Or is your nephew her caregiver?

If your mother has dementia, she really shouldn't be living alone, not past the very early stages. Is someone mom's PoA? What is mom's relationship with this nephew. Who took her to the dentist, and why was it a secret?

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