Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
F
Fedupgiveup Asked March 2016

I am being pressured to take mom (94) with dementia and a broken hip home from hospital till LTC opens. I have POA can they force me?

My 94 year old mom broke her hip in January. She was transferred to a rehab facility but is too angry and stubborn to take physio. The hospital wants the bed freed up. I have POA and given hospital permission to place in first bed LTC,. I have a meeting tomorrow and the physiotherapist called Friday and told me my mom must attend the meeting overriding my POA full medical powers. Mom will just have a total meltdown and scream and rave. They have this stupid Home First program where they want to send her home until a LTC bed opens. I cannot take care of her as I have MS nor is the home able to accommodate a wheel chair. They have promised 8 hours care but knowing this organization, they will forget about us. Does a physiotherapist override a family member with POA and can the hospital force me to take her home if I state yet again NO.

Oyveyreally Mar 2016
Fed up, as others have stated, they can't force you. I pray things work out for both you and your mom.

Lassie Mar 2016
I was told the next time mom was taken to the ER, I could tell them she could not go home, there was no one there to take care of her, and it was dangerous to leave her there alone. All absolutely true. She had a caregiver a few hours a day, not nearly enough (and now she was falling down 2-3 times a week!) I was told the ER would make a stink, threaten to bill mom $3000 a day, she would have to lay on a gurney for who knew how long until they could put her in some dog house of a nursing home. Well, mom didn't have the money, let them send a bill! She didn't own her house or a car, let them send a bill! You, poor LW, have a legitimate health condition and should stand your ground, they can't 'make' you do anything.

ADVERTISEMENT


Sorrynotsorry Mar 2016
How will she get home. Refuse to pick her up.

pamstegma Mar 2016
Bring medical proof of your MS, as a letter from your MD.
Now if you both live in her house, and she is still legally competent, they cannot stop her from going home. As POA you cannot stop her IF she is still in her right mind. But, you can make it very clear that their decision means they are fully responsible for any injury she sustains at home since you warned them.

pamzimmrrt Mar 2016
Just say no,, and keep saying it. Explain your medical problems and the home problems, and say no. They can;t throw her out on the street. You both may not like place she gets sent to, but she can be moved later if needed. I agree with the psych consult, let her scream and rave.. that could be in your favor. Let us know how this goes. Good luck!

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2016
Geeez, those people are witless, aren't they!

Ask for a psychiatric consult first thing tomorrow. There's at least a chance that meds will help mom's agitation.

anonymous179890 Mar 2016
If your mother is refusing physio I'm afraid it's down hill from here. During the four years I cared for my mother her dementia increased and, unsteady on her feet due to parkinsons, refusing to use a walker, she fell frequently though with a struggle I could get her up if she co-operated. Eventually she fell at 2 a.m., the second time that evening (fortunately I was awake and heard the bang). Blood everywhere, and out of it I couldn't get her up so she went to hospital in an ambulance.

The hospital admins tried everything to get me to take her home but I flatly refused as I just couldn't provide the care she needed. She was there a month before I could get her into LTC. From there on she screamed, ranted, raved and hurled abuse for the last 3 years of her life but it had to be as she needed care 24/7.

Stand your ground!! No-one can force you to take her home! Good luck.

cwillie Mar 2016
Stand Firm. Home First is meant to help seniors stay at home longer if they are able, it should not be used as an excuse to dump their care on the family, especially if you are unable to care for her!!!!

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter