How do we handle days like this?

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It has been one of those days. I woke this morning. I bought my mother a coffee maker because she has been asking for one. I saw her busy at the machine, so let her be. I like it when she does what she can. She was only making two cups of coffee, but she filled the filter with enough coffee for a big pot. She ran some more water through trying to get the coffee dilute. It was an awful mess. We talked about how much coffee to use. No problem, really. I know it was a challenge for her. I told her I didn't want any coffee and she asked me why in the world I had bought the pot if I wasn't going to drink coffee?

She didn't go back to bed -- understandable with that strong coffee! :-D She wanted to talk. It was the most confusing talk that was twisting my head about as I was trying to get things done. At lunchtime I planned on having some Italian pasta that was leftover from dinner. I searched the refrigerator, but it was nowhere in sight. I asked about it and she said she'd thrown it in the yard for the birds. She said she didn't want me to try to serve it again, and never to buy it again. I looked outside and there it was -- noodles and Italian sausage in tomato sauce sitting in bits in the front yard. I prayed some stray dog would find it and clean it up. But no problem, really. Things like this happen in the world of dementia.

Then she was looking outside and decided our neighbors had turned their water drain spouts to send water into our yard. She said she was going to talk with them and didn't care what they thought. Our neighbors are sweet people. I assured Mom that they hadn't done anything wrong. She didn't listen. She called someone and started crying about what these neighbors were doing to her yard. Sigh. I see an obsessive problem brewing. She wouldn't stop talking about it. I told her a good solution would be to move. No, she said. This was her house, and yada yada.

I had enough of the day and retreated to my room. Fortunately, I had an order that I had to fill that distracted me. It had rained steadily all day, so I hadn't been able to get out for a walk. It was kind of nice to head to the post office. I talked to the clerk there. The normal conversation was so refreshing. My mind can end up feeling so twisted that things can start to seem like all confusion after a while. How do we cope with such confusion?

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Make this a "wine" moment.
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I can only tell you that you are not alone. I have been caring for my mom in my home for a year and my dad in a convalescent hospital for two years. It is days like you describe that become the norm. I find it hard to discuss with friends because they only see my mom as a sweet little lady. I know i sound petty to them. But when you put all those little things together day after day frustration mounts. I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time and pray for strength.
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You need respite. We all have to get away from the confused thinking and talk with others who can carry on a decent conversation. I like to go to Lowe's where usually "the guys" and I can talk about how to fix something and that takes my mine off what is happening at home. Find YOUR outlet, go there when you need some relief so you can resume being a caregiver. I had to lock our front door and hide the key because when I found it unlocked, my husband said, "It called to me to open". The saving wonder is our two dogs which I can take for a short walk or more recently I bought a golf car to get him out of the house and the dogs love to ride in the breeze! So just know you are not alone...Oh, don't let her make coffee unattended. You need to take the thinking process out of her mind because she can no longer organize steps of how to do things.
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Jessie, hope your Mom eventually understands how to use the new coffee maker. I was thinking about getting my Dad one of the small Keurig coffee makers. But then I remembered all the problems I had trying to remember the steps to get the thing to work here at home. And recently I noticed at my office some of our older clients were befuddled by the Keurig, so I dropped that idea....

Dad would either run hot water all over the counter, or being a retired electrical engineer, he would take the thing apart to see how it works :P
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Great idea, Send. I'm actually thinking about buying decaf and slipping it into the canister. She probably won't know the difference. Maybe she'll calm down some if she doesn't have the caffeine going through her.
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If your mom has dementia, logic no longer works. Neither does confrontation. And taking about moving won't effect her irrational decisions either. The change you are facing is one of role reversal. It's hard enough to parent a child, harder to parent an adolescent but it takes special skill, care and concern to parent one's parent.
If you can't move out, separate your life from hers. Get a small frig and put it in your room or garage. Purchase decaf coffee. Find a Meetup or church group to attend so you can socialize. Get your own tv and new friends. Life was not meant to be so constantly stressful.
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Put, funny you should say all those things. I have 2 rooms in my mother's house -- one for me, one for the rabbit. I have a little frig and a half bath. I get out almost every day for a while, but I still have to come back. This life is like wearing shoes that don't fit well. It isn't my life; it is hers.
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Sorry it was a rough day. I'm glad you come here to add cheer and offer support though. It helps others so much. That must bring you some comfort.

How long has your mom being diagnosed with dementia?
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I hope your day gets better Jessie!
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I woke late this morning and peeked in the living room. Mom was up and in her chair, rocking frantically. I suspected before that she might be bipolar. The recent things may just be part of mania?? She has gotten hypomanic on certain antidepressants. She drove me crazy doing things like washing coins and old laundry -- obsessive acts. She enjoys the hypomania, so I'll just ride with it unless it gets too bad or expensive.
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