How do I get an elderly parent put into care, or sheltered accommodations?

A family friend who is suffering from dementia is left in the care of her husband, who is now incapable of looking after her, the family are useless and do not want to take responsibility, and dont want to feel guilty about making the decision of putting their mum into care, or sheltered accomodation.

Other problem is my gf is is the daughter of the dementia sufferer, and she/we also have to care for our child who has Autism and needs 24hr care, my own family are also useless and live far away.

The husband does not want to move nor does his his wife (the dementia sufferer), obvously we cant force them to move, but the situation is causing stress physically on my gf and is causing a strain on our relationship, as if things werent bad enough due to looking after our autisic son, now over the last 2 years its getting worse.