I am not a caregiver but at 53 put my life on hold and moved in with my 76 year old mother. Why does she hate me so much.

Get out now!! Get out now!! Get out now!!! You made a mistake. When you can be of some use without putting your own life on hold, maybe try to contribute again. In the meantime, get your own life back on track. You can't give what you don't actually have, and at the moment you likely don't have the right combo to be in this situation. Even if its from mental illness and you sacrifice all to "help" her, she is not going to get nicer to you even with meds. You have to keep your own center of stability. Especially as the only child.

I have not a clue how to deal with someone so hateful. she has not taken a shower or even a sponge bath in more then a year

I am the only child and she has no one else

NO. she refuses to take any meds not to mention seeing her doctor

I'm not understanding, Kelly? Why did you move in with her? And why do you say you're not a caregiver? It sounds like she has some pretty serious psychiatric issues and is abusing you. Has she asked you to move out? Why are you putting up with this abuse?

Has your mom been diagnosed with a mental illness?