Our disabled son (27) living with us is chronically depressed, but wants to live home. My spouse wants us to live alone. What are his options?

I would consult with social services to find as many services that may be available due to your son's disabilities. Some communities have facilities for those with disabilities that provide housing, meals, transportation, education, job training and location, and help with managing finances. They focus on teaching the person to be as independent as possible, but with a good support system.

Your son really needs to see a doctor or therapist to help manage his depression so he can begin to build a life for himself. You and your husband have enough to deal with b/c of his illnesses.

Perhaps a county social worker could help him identify ways to get job training (as I suspect that he's not working) for someone with his disabilities and grow into a self sustaining adult who's not dependent on his parents. It isn't a healthy situation for either of you.

This post offers unsettling and troubling insight into what could happen when an adult child doesn't grow into adulthood and find his (or her) own way:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/How-can-I-plan-for-the-care-of-my-son-after-my-death-187138.htm