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postcardlynn Asked September 2015

How to get husband to change his shirt, underwear and shower?

I have tried working with agency but they sent someone untrained so didn't work out. My Husband will shower occasionally and let me wash his upper body but sporadic. He has had same shirt on for 3 days; fortunately he doesn't smell or sweat much now. Any suggestions?

freqflyer Sep 2015
JoAnn, I have heard from others that some handheld devices are limited. Too bad, because a lot of posters will post a cliff note version of what is going on in their life and what health issues are involved. That really helps up keep track on each case here without having to dig and dig to find old postings :)

JoAnn29 Sep 2015
I tried to click on the name from my smartphone and it would take me to profile. Seems like websites are limited on smartphones.

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freqflyer Sep 2015
Llamalover, you need to click on postcardlynn screen name.... up will come a page with profile information about the writer.

In fact, you can find profile information on just about everyone here, but only if they took the time to fill out the profile information.

GardenArtist Sep 2015
Older people just don't need to shower as often as active people who are out working and/or mixing with the public daily.

Try the NoRinse products for shampoo and shower. They'll lather up, wash, then can be removed with a towel to pat dry. No immersion, no climbing in and out of tubs, no worry about being cold in the winter time.

They're used in the hospital we go to and work well. It's not as rejuvenating as having water pouring down on you in a shower, but they'll get a person clean.

Llamalover47 Sep 2015
freqflyer: What comes up on my smartphone is nothing mentioning Alzheimer's or Dementia.

JoAnn29 Sep 2015
My daughter works in a nursing facility. They only shower residents 3x a week. I wash Mom M, W, F on Sun a sponge bath.

freqflyer Sep 2015
Llamalover, as per the original writer's profile, her husband has Alzheimer's/Dementia and that is a very common issue of not wanting to bathe.

Llamalover47 Sep 2015
Postcardlynn: There is something wrong with a man who doesn't want to bathe! Get him seen by a psychiatrist!

malloryg8r Sep 2015
Oh you poor dears, I cannot imagine having a husband around who would not want to change clothing? My hubby (we are 50 - somethings ) changes everything after work, and into garden clothes and then into another set for late dinners. And then fresh pj's every nite! I am doing so much laundry I feel guilty about the water, have rigged up a grey water system to spout it outside and onto the lawn. If he ever doesn't change his clothes then I will suspect dementia.....

twopupsmom Sep 2015
I do once a week with my husband, he takes his clothes off so easy to switch clean clothes as soon as he's asleep, also takes t sort off to shave, I just do a quick gran and replace, then hold up clean boxers he fusses but will change. The once a week I take a coffe up to him laced with an am pill, so he's becoming calm, sit a bit talking then ease him into bathroom and shower, it's always a hassle but he finally gets in, I was trying to bath him every day, then every two days, just was not worth the frustration for him nor I. If your husband sleeps in a chair with clothes that's a tough one to answer, I would follow Maggie's suggestions also. Just don't get agitated you'll set him off.

Sunnygirl1 Sep 2015
When dealing with dementia at home, I wouldn't worry about him showering occasionally and wearing a shirt for 3 days. I don't see any harm in that. There are bath wipes you can use in between. I would be glad he does that much.

I'm not sure what you meant by the in home help that came and were unsuccessful. Did he refuse to allow them to bathe him? That's not uncommon. I don't have any tips for that. Maybe some here will.

MaggieMarshall Sep 2015
I'm assuming he sleeps in his clothes. If he doesn't, I'd think you'd know to just take them and put them in the hamper. So. He sleeps in them.

For his underwear, when he's in the bathroom, knock and walk in with a clean pair and promise him a pretty. Or a dish of ice cream. Try it. Can't hurt.

As for showering? Unless he's digging ditches or playing in mud puddles, once a week is enough. And a bird bath is sufficient. Get a personal aid, and stay handy to cajole him. Manipulate him. Whatever it takes. How about guilt? "Honey, after all I do for you, can't you do this one little thing for me?? For ice cream??" Add a great big smile and see what happens.

freqflyer Sep 2015
Between showers get those baby wipes, such as Huggies Natural Wipes, which are great to use inbetween showers.... I use them for myself :)

As for wearing the same shirt, throw it into the hamper, unless he goes hamper diving looking for things to wear. If yes, hide a hamper some place else. If hubby tends to not do things that would make him sweat, wearing the same shirt 2 days in a row should be ok.

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