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ToniCavalli Asked June 2015

How do we make Dad comfortable and safe without setting off Mom?

Dad is in hospice at home, mom is caregiver but their relationship is toxic. My parents have had MANY issues over their 50+ year marriage, my mom has been his caregiver for years, but now that dad is home their toxic relationship is taking it's toll on not only my dad but us kids as well. My mom is controlling beyond belief and creating toxic relationships with all of us as well. We don't want to see my dads last days spent in an angry negative environment. We don't know what to do?

Mincemeat Jun 2015
Maybe your mom acting controlling is a form of guilt and grief itself. My mother used to get very wound up over things like that. I agree with Maggie above...get your mom out of the house, take her to the library and out to lunch, go grocery shopping or rent her a movie. Little things that divert can mean alot now.

MaggieMarshall Jun 2015
Make mom your primary focus. Make her life easier in caring for dad. Take her to lunch. Bring her a box of candy...a few flowers in a Mason jar...a new nightie. Mom has been his caregiver for years. You just have to help her now. She's exhausted.

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