My Mom has lost her light. How do I accept this?

Awww, so sad. Peace and comfort to all of you going through this...especially if it is just you and no one else.

jab don't mean to scare you but perhaps your Mom feels she has outlived her purpose here on earth and is ready to go. My Mom was similar to how you described shortly before she passed. I think she was just ready to go and be with her savior.

Talk to her about it if you think that would help. Have a frank discussion with her. She just might surprise you and be honest with you. Good Luck to you!

Maria, it's hard isn't it?
My mom used to be the social one, I would come home and she would fill me in on all the news of the neighbourhood. Now it's up to me, and since I spend my days alone with her there is no news, and when I do have something to tell her she doesn't seem to care.

I agree with someone above who suggested read to her. Possibly the Bible. Also, have you tried any books on tape for her to listen to? Something inspirational in music? Will she talk at all? Maybe you can ask her what kind of communication she would like to have with you...IPad, verbal, signs,pointing to words...?

I still struggle with the "nobody is there" looks I get from my mom. I really try but talking to her is like talking to a blank wall. It's a real struggle and somehow I blame myself....................... I am a gregarious person and very easy to talk to but when alone in a room with my mom.........................I feel so uneasy. Again it's like she's there but she's not there. Anyone else have this issue?

I am experiencing this with my mother-in-law. She is 92, and almost totally blind. She doesn't smile or laugh. It's easier for me to accept, perhaps because of her age, that she might be done with trying and that she's preparing to give up and be done with life. Your mom is still very young. Regardless of age, though, health and life are a personal journey - people do what they must, just as we will have to do someday. The caregiver journey means having to accept all kinds of things we would rather not accept. I am doing more accepting these days, because to do otherwise and be constantly fighting some of these inevitabilities just wears me down too much.

My mom won't engage either. It's like trying to talk to a cardboard cutout. She is also dull and flat affect. This is not for lack of trying on my part. She doesn't want to do anything. Nothing I cook for her is to her liking. She is "just there."

I have tried all that you suggested. She has had several options put in front of her to drink and eat. She just takes a few bites of food and gets full. Same with the fluids. She is a strong christian woman who was always the rock of our family and everyone is just so sad to see her this way. She has a church and those church friends have come to visit her. She just won't engage. Thank you for your advice though.

Have you tried small meals every 2 hrs? Will she drink shakes or flavored water? There is little bottles of different flavors that you can add to what I call regular water. What about doing outside? Talk about the trees, clouds or what you see. Is there a counselor at the cancer center for you and for her? Does she stays with you? Change place she is sitting and read to her. The Mitford Series by Jan Karon is great. A chapter at a time. You can get these at the library too... Does she attend church? Is there a church near by where you could call to get a volunteer to visit her.

She is 79 and going through treatment for stage 4 colon cancer. The chemo is stopping the active cells so it is working but she is just sad. She lives with me and is very weak and very dependant where she use to be the opposite. She does not drink enough fluids or eat enough so her energy level is nill. Doctor has her on antidepressants but nothing has changed. She does not engage conversation or read or watch tv or laugh or anything anymore. She just sits there.

You do not need to ACCEPT it. Why is this. Is she home alone? What does she do all day? What is her age and diagnosis?