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It's making her visibly anxious. She will say she doesn't know what's happening to her, and you can tell it worries her. She's normally sharp as a tack. I'm wondering if it's time for anti-anxiety meds? I have Diazepam 10 mg from a while back when she didn't need them. Maybe it's time now?

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Our answers crossed, Babalou... thank you for your response. I realize the day will come (maybe soon...) when she will need a little help for her state of mind, I will definitely be willing at that point.
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I think know.... Primary Care Physician.... right?
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Primary care physician=pcp. No comment on stopping meds. Just hope you didn't stop antidepressants suddenly.

I'm sure that avoiding medication can be a good thing for some folks. In my mom's case, all the reassurance in the world didn't stop her from seeing doom and gloom around every corner, but two antidepressant meds have turned her into a happy camper who is glad to have company and happy to be alive at nearly 92.
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So so amazing to me that UTIs will effect behavior when it is clearly a physical problem of infection. I will keep that in mind. Not sure what PCP is.... I think of a drug! lol... Jeanne Gibbs, I totally agree with you. I've been doing that very thing all along and since there is so little else wrong with her, I feel the onset of dementia is totally possible. I love your description of "having her back". Very well described and very practical help. Thank you... my mom too, realizes she is 93 and that it would only be expected that she would forget Some things Some of the time.

I also like to avoid medication as much as possible. She was on both anti-depressant meds AND dementia meds when she moved in with me, and since taking her off of those, she is so so much more lucid and interactive, and, well, alive. So... I will watch for more signs of dementia and then consider the next step. I'll also watch for signs of UTI infection. Thank you, everyone!
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Maybe she has a urinary tract infection or something else. UTI's can make elders absolutely crazy, any sudden change they should be checked.
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Visit the PCP first, but get a referral for an evaluation by a geriatric or neurology specialist, Sounds like early dementia, and the sooner treatment begins, the better the chances that it might actually work.
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On the memory thing, Jocelyne, I think that your mother has gone beyond general age-related decline. Perhaps you are seeing signs of dementia. It sounds like she is under a doctor's care, and that is good.

My 94 year-old mother does have dementia and some days she is very forgetful and some days she is extremely forgetful. The other day she was bothered by something she was trying to remember. I said, "It's OK if you don't remember it Mom." She was indignant. "What do you mean it is OK not to remember?!" I said because people who live into their 90s do tend to forget things. You are at a place where they understand that and there is a whole staff here that remembers important things for you." That really calmed her down. "Oh. Yes. I am 94 after all." She is very proud of her age!

I am not opposed to anti-anxiety meds, especially if the anxiety is pervasive. But I would go real heavy on the reassurances. It is OK for someone in their 90s to forget some things. You are there to watch over her and make sure nothing important gets left undone. She can relax. You are going to make sure that her poor memory isn't going to get her in trouble.

Can you imagine how you would react if you realized you lost your train of thought mid-sentence? How anxious you would be if you knew you couldn't count on your own memory? Try to imagine that, and then tell your mother the things you think you would want to hear.

My husband was fully aware of his dementia through his ten-year journey with it. When I went into an appointment with him he would explain, "She has to be here. She is my memory." It is terrible to know you can't count on your own mind, but it is a little less terrible if you can trust that someone else has your back.
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Thank you, y'all... you're right, I didn't realize the Diazepam was quite old... issued 7/25/14. It was issued by the same doctor who now prescribes her meds, so it was a suitable choice. I'll check with her doctor if it is still a good choice. Also, is it necessarily a good thing to automatically give meds for anxiety... not 100% sure. She drinks at least 3 cups decaf coffee au lait a day, no supplements, but eats good food... very few meds (total of 5/day and 6/night). She's a healthy little thing! Her hip surgery is all that is slowing her down, except for this memory loss. Maybe ensure would be a good thing for the supplements... thank you.
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I would also say don't give anxiety meds on your own...

What meds is mom taking? Look each one up on drugs.com and checkout side effects and drug interactions. When mom started having hallucinations and vivid dreams we discovered (after about 9 months) that 4 medications that she was taking all had the side effects of causing these problems. We removed them all and found substitutes...and things got better. Mom forgets things mid sentence...and worries about getting ALTIMERS, and that can make her anxious. i forget things too especially if I have not had the right amount of sleep or good nutrition. Mom drink ensure? take supplements? anything?
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I would suggest you check with your Mom's primary physician before giving her the Diazepam in case your Mom is taking different meds from before, some might not work well with Diazepam. Plus what is the expiration date on that bottle of pills?
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