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dmoorer1 Asked February 2015

How can I talk to my Mom's doctor when she just had me removed from her POA?

She is getting Alzheimer's and I need it documented? We live in fl and she is 87 she also had me removed as her health care surrogate she does not know what she is doing. I am her only realitive and she is mad at me so ......

Rosebush Feb 2015
Banality is absolutely right, UTIs do crazy things to the elderly, it could also be the dementia. If you feel so hopeless at the moment just write the letter. We have written doctors many letters concerning my parents and not one doctor ever mentioned to patents i but could tell from the questions being asked that he had read it. good luck and I will pray for you.

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2015
Is this a change in mental status in your mom? This could be a symptom of a urinary tract infection. You need to call her doctor immediately and report these symptoms. The doctor can't talk to you but she can listen. In your shoes, I would call 911 and let the emts evaluate her mental state.

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dmoorer1 Feb 2015
thank you all for your info. guess nothing I can do except pray that things work out for her.

dmoorer1 Feb 2015
ive tried. she is saying all kind of things that are not true.

Rosebush Feb 2015
Do you have a long term plan for your mom. If you are the one talking her to the doctor, does she allow you to go into the office with her. In my opinion if you are writing this letter out of love , then do it. As we all know doctirs needs as much info as possible to make a clear diagnosis. Without true input to her daily living and behavior, the diagnosis could be wrong. If you are clear in your reasons for writing this letter and only saying what you have actually seen and this is all for the benefit of your moms well being i would do it . If you are making assumptions or stating your wishes for moms future, I would think more on this. Good luck

Countrymouse Feb 2015
Why is she mad at you? Might it be better to retrace your steps a bit and see if you can't patch things up?

dmoorer1 Feb 2015
my mom does not live with me. she lives alone. have to fix that too.. im just so upset. I can not write the dr if she will read it. no way..

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2015
Is your mother living in your home?

pamstegma Feb 2015
The MD can show it to her if he wants to or he can tear it up. His call.

dmoorer1 Feb 2015
thanks for your answers but my mother revoked both the poa and hcp. only one making out here is her attorney. I think I will write her dr and explain the situation. I have already talked to him about this before. Does anyone know if she will have access to read the letter I wrote to her dr?

obmahlesq Feb 2015
If you mother signed a Health Care Proxy and designated you as the Proxy, it operates separately of the Power of Attorney then YOU have the power to make all health care decisions for her when she becomes unable to make her own health care decisions . Check with the Lawyer... As attorneys, we always have a HCP signed at time of POA... pleased to help.

surprise Feb 2015
You can give your mother's doc a letter with the symptoms and an explanation of the situation. Because of HIPPA, he can't even admit if she is a patient of his, but put RE: her name, Date of birth, and SSN if you have it , and then it will be filed correctly. He can consider that info when he talks to her next, and he may make her change you back.

surprise Feb 2015
Judges are very reluctant to give guardianship. This means the person is truly incompetent, and many times it is the probate judge who has this role.

The one we had was friends with the non-relative who had POA over mthr but who did nothing to help. Judge should have recused himself in normal circumstances, but there was no alternative in this state's law. Upfront the judge told us that he would feel bad about limiting anyone's rights, no matter how bad off they were.

We had 3 hearings and a complete psych eval at the state capitol, and I think he hoped we would drop the case at some point. At the end, the POA, my mthr's court appointed lawyer, and the judge got together and decided mthr was competent enough to name us DPOA and HPOA. All in all, it was a $3K bill to the court appointed lawyer, 2 weeks of work missed, many nights in a hotel, and lots of stress. We needed this to be able to treat mthr's cancer, put mthr in a memory care in our state, and to get her spread out finances in order.

I would only pursue guardianship if mthr had been at the point of death, which she was, and still the judge stalled like this. Call Adult Protective Services, as they can make a recommendation to the judge that you be named guardian which has more weight than just you pursuing it on your own.

dmoorer1 Feb 2015
ok thank you.

pamstegma Feb 2015
So you hire a lawyer and pursue full Guardian status. Sorry, that is the only way if she is resisting you.

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