I am an only child of an only child. My father has disconnected socially from everyone. Has no friends, no one to talk to...except me. (Will talk to my husband and sons, but conversation is always more pleasant with them than it is with me.) Does not even leave his condo where he continues to live independently. Only fresh air he gets is to open his front door to get newspaper. Will not walk to mailbox (50 feet from condo?). He will get in his truck and drive there. (No, I haven't taken his keys, because that is all he does is drive to the mailbox). Won't take out garbage or recycle, I do that. Won't sit outside, just sits inside all day. I get off work at 6 pm and go by his place to pick up my dog that he watches while I am work (2-6pm) and I get his dinner. I finally got a plumber to install a garbage disposal because his sink was disgusting with a broken disposal. Found a leak in laundry room, plumber determined it to be washer, but won't get new machine. He is stubborn and argumentative. Will not let me hire anyone to help clean. I have my own house to clean and 2 part time jobs that I enjoy. I also do his grocery shopping. He fell at 1 am this morning. Called me.
I have read posts that say I will just have to wait until something drastic happens that will change his mind about continuing to live independently, like a fall. He fell at 1 am and called me. This has happened 2x in the middle of the night. His other falls have occurred at a less obtrusive hour. Thankfully, he has not been hurt.
But I am worn out.
He has no hobbies, won't read, exercise, nothing. Does watch CNN, then wants to complain to me about all the bad news. I ask if he would like to walk around the building. No. Come to my house for dinner. No.
Yes, he is very depressed. Me too.
Any ideas?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
cjbailey, some people prefer to be a hermit, not much we can do about that. And being 90 years old, probably each day runs into another day and he doesn't realize that a week has gone by.

It is nice that he likes to watch your dog but I assume the dog doesn't get any exercise under your Dad's care, nor goes outside to his/her business. Depending on the dog's age or health, would it do the dog good to be put on a leash and walked around the complex? Do you think your Dad would do that for you, thus get exercise himself?
Helpful Answer (1)

The next time he calls and has fallen, call 911. Let the emts check him out. Repeat as often as necessary until the county sends APS out to see him. Nothing will change until you change your behavior.

We ran to mom's every emergency, until I realized that this was going to kill my brother. Told mom "this isn't working for us anymore". I'm sorry that this sounds selfish, it's actually self preservation.
Helpful Answer (4)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter