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baxbarn Asked December 2014

What can I do to get my wife of 35 years back from her daughter in NC?

Wife was in very early stage of Alzheimer's in Oct 2013 when I had a triple bypass surgery.
A stepdaughter came and took her to NC and said when I recovered she would be back,,,HOWEVER now she will not. Another daughter from Georgia in June 2013 told our family Doctor the only food she found in our home was sour milk and eggs total lie...refg/freezer and freezer in basement and kitchen cupboard and cupboard in basement stuffed with food. Previous to this the 4 steps thought highly of me...thankful for the love and care I gave their Mother.

Sunnygirl1 Dec 2014
I would try to see how your wife has progressed. It's amazing sometimes how the dementia can progress. Have they told you how she's functioning now? I'm not sure how old each of you are, but I would explore where you wife may be best cared for.

I suspect that if her daughters are caring for her, by now they realize that someone with dementia can provide false information...not intentionally but just because their brain is not working right anymore. They may already know you had food, but their mom was not seeing things clearly.

My loved one, at one point in her dementia, would go next door and tell neighbors she didn't have any food. Of course, it was a lie. She had a fridge and cabinets full of food and I carried her hot meals every day, but she could not remember that. We had to place her in a facility soon after that. She would also disconnect her cable and then call 911 and tell them her tv didn't work. So, you see, the dementia can cause a person to not be able to live alone or to care for another person.

pamstegma Dec 2014
Bax she probably was more like mid-stage in 2013 and has declined more since then. She will not be able to take care of a household or you any more. So sorry to say that, but it's the new reality. It's not a matter of what they think of you, it's a matter of what is safest for her. You might want to visit her there, because a lot can change in a year and a half.

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Chicago1954 Dec 2014
Probably your wife had told them things that they believe. I think you need an attorney. You are the next of kin and should have some legal rights.

blannie Dec 2014
Can you communicate with your wife? If so, what does she say about her situation? If not, why not? Have you been to visit her in NC?

freqflyer Dec 2014
Curious why your wife didn't take care of you after you had the bypass surgery. Someone with early Alzheimer's is still able to function as a regular person even with memory issues.

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