Mom has deterioration of spine and neck. Lots of pain, she's usually sleep deprived due to the pain. Has a heart of gold. Used to get the large family dinners, let guest stay for several days/nights in her home. Lots and lots of extra cleaning, cooking, stress. It's just too much on her now, but if they invite themselves she won't say no.
My only sibling died 2 years ago. Her child, (31 going on 12), is rotten to the core sadly, (a real user, welfare, different Fathers, won't work, drug user), and uses her kids to get at Mom's heart. This Sept she invited herself down for a 4 day stay for her own birthday, big list of wants, food, presents, cake for her self, different cake for son also with a Sept birthday, tickets to event out, baby sit the one and six year old while at event and out partying etc. List got bigger and bigger, Mom, bless her heart did her best. Until she had a TIA and wound up in hospital during their stay.
Stepdad moved the moochers, (her, her boyfriend of the year), both kids to a hotel room so Mom could come home to quiet. They called her up and guilted her, "the kids really want to come back to your house", (WE want to come back to your house and raid your cabinets, get high and sleep while you babysit and clean up after us a more likely story). Ugghh, Mom let them come back.
For Thanksgiving I tried to get everyone on page with catering, no cooking. Stepdad whined he wouldn't get leftovers to eat for his 4 days off work that way. She complied. I insisted on bringing the bird, potatoes, gravy, but she still worked her butt off and did many side, ham, days of cleaning for his family members who invited themselves.
She was doing so well this last month. Had her pain meds knocked down, attending physician at the hospital had got rid of a lot of unnecessary prescriptions for her during her stay due to the TIA, thankfully. She had energy, was happy, interested in life, walking everyday, thinking so clearly, it was like having my old Mom back. Then, bam, ...ran her wheels off out of feeling obligation to give the unthinking ones a super duper holiday, back in major pain, not sleeping, increased her meds again, now she's out of it, confused, ...Ugghh.
How do I keep these idiots off her back, (including her husband who is 10 years younger than her, but old enough to know better)? I'm not real sure my niece isn't hitting her up for rent every month, kid calls her several times a day when her little disability check is about to come, doesn't work, but somehow manages to keep a house paid for, ...has burt too many bridges with other relatives for them to be paying it, ...Stepfather says it's none of his business what she does with her check, kind of true, but I know the little schemer is causing her stress, and asking for more than she has to give. Ideas? Thanks