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Born2teach Asked June 2014

Can a person who has terminal cancer and kidney failure live at home without a home care nurse?

My Father in law needs to leave the hospital in 48 hours and there is nothing more the doctors can do to treat him at the hospital. My sister in law wants to have him live with her full time (in another state). Is this wise?

GardenArtist Jun 2014
It's understandable to be worried, anxious and stressed at this stage of your FIL's life. In fact, I think it's natural. You and your SIL should take extra respite time for yourselves as well.

In my experience, hospice can provide a high level of comfort and respite at this time of life, but do interview different hospice providers to make sure you're comfortable with them.

A member of our family chose poorly and the family paid for it in stress, emotions and anxiety.

Others here have used hospice and generally speak highly of their services. Perhaps they can offer some advice on selection of a hospice group that will meet your needs.

Born2teach Jun 2014
Thanks for your response. I am very worried and hope it is the best solution for all that is involved. No he is no longer on dialysis.

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Sodonewithsal1 Jun 2014
If that's what your FIL wants, and your SIL gets help from hospice, it could work out. It was my mother's choice to die at home, and hospice nurses came in daily to monitor her condition, help bathe her, and give her painkillers. Her end was very peaceful. Up to the last she expressed gratitude that she was at home and not in a hospital.

If your FIL is comfortable with the arrangement, it sounds fine. I'm assuming he doesn't need to be on dialysis and he's not getting chemotherapy. Even if he is, and your SIL is willing to take him to and from treatment, I still think it's fine.

GardenArtist Jun 2014
BTW, is he on dialysis?

GardenArtist Jun 2014
If she brings in hospice as it sounds as if that's what's needed. Actually, I think it's better if a person spends his/her last hours with family, in a home environment, and if he's comfortable living with her for his remaining days than go for it. But she will need hospice help, so that should be arranged to be in place as soon as he gets home, if possible. She may need to get a hospital bed and other equipment such as oxygen, etc.

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