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graciesgirl Asked June 2014

Do I have to tell my sister everything financial?

I'm full guardian of my mother who is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My mother made me sole beneficiary on a simple will, with her adopted daughter next in line, if Mom outlives me. Do I have to keep her informed about Mom's worth? When Mom passes, do I have to disclose to her adopted daughter what I inherited? This woman doesn't help me care for Mom, but she's always calling for updates.

lsmiami Jun 2014
Your question was whether you tell her. Please do not open that can of worms while mom is alive. Sis may confront her, very unpleasant, and may have an unintended result.
Once mom passes, you can choose to have a final short conversation when she reaches out to you inquiring.

pamstegma Jun 2014
I understand the vulture part. When mom dies she did leave instructions to deduct 15K from one brother's share, for money she loaned him and he did not pay back. So if sis already collected all her share, so be it.

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graciesgirl Jun 2014
Good grief Pam, what does jelousy have to do with it? She like a vulture circling. She had nothing to do with me for 40 years until Mom was under my care, and has done nothing for Mom but ask for money. How is that jealousy? I had to quit my life to care for Mom, and adopted sister has done nothing but spend. Even now when I tell her that my guardianship says I can't give her money, she still asks.

pamstegma Jun 2014
If mom made the decision under the influence of Alzheimer's, she was acting on anger and not what was fair. Something to consider. She could just as easily get mad at you and leave the money to her dog. Just be fair and put aside jealousy.

vegaslady Jun 2014
No you don't have to tell her, but how sad. At first you didn't even refer to that woman as your sister. Don't know know what else to say.

graciesgirl Jun 2014
My adopted sister and I are 12 years apart. We were never in touch until Mom became needy. She tried to care for Mom first and it only lasted 2 weeks and they fell out. Mom has been with me since, 2 years now. My adopted sister visited twice, once a year, for a brief day or two and never offered me a break. I haven't had a day off once. I can tell she's waiting for some money, and she's constantly asking for money. Until I became Guardian this past February, she got money from mom. I told my adopted sister what the Will said, and she knows nothing is directly going to her but she thinks I'll share. When mom was still working she always had both of us as beneficiaries, but after she had a falling out with my adopted sister she remover her from the will.

lsmiami Jun 2014
This is not your news to deliver until mom passes. At that time you must tell her what she gets ( nothing). You do not have to tell her what you get. If you have affection for your adopted sister, you should be gentle, it is a slap in the face. Sad that the family is not closer, from the caregiving perspective.

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