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Savingmom Asked September 2013

How do you get your mother who's used to doing nothing but watching TV active again?

She has not brain activity or muscle tone. She refuses to do anything any more. She has bad arthritis in her back and her toes are curled up on one foot, she says from her stroke (yrs ago). Is there something we can do about her toes also which creates her to be off balance.

Savingmom Sep 2013
My mom is 75. I do not live with my mom but, my younger sister does. She has some training with the medical profession (MA) and physical therapy. My mom is very quiet type and one that never complains. You may say how lucky we are.except you never know whats going on with her until its of the critical stage. She has no other debilitating effects from the stroke Thank God!! Her left side was effected but she still has movement of all extremities. She complains only of back pain. And as I mentioned before she is in the hosp for low sodium and still complains she is light headed and feels pressure on top of her head. As of yesterday while still in the hospital they attributes this from low sodium. She has become very weak and will have to have phyical therapy to get her up and walking again on her own. When I have asked her many times about her toes, she get angry and says she already asked the Dr. and there is nothing they can do about it? I don't think she asked the right Dr. She is stubborn lately about going to the Dr. I am usually the one who takes her to the Dr. and I do not recall her addressing her feet to any of them. So I think she is just telling me a fib.! Lately, She will call and cancel her Dr. appointments then she'll call me as I am getting ready to come pick her up and tell me she rescheduled her appointment. I told her the last time, that from now on she is not to cancel any more appts with out discussing it with me. It is obvioous to me, I need to get more involved with her care. My younger sister (who is not that young) is some what of a dependent person. (Not a decision maker). We are considering moving my mom is with myself or my older sister. Any type of move would be upsetting to my mother, she is addimitt about staying with my younger sisiter because they have never lived apart.I'm affraid it might make her worse as I want her to be comfortable with her surroundings.
I appreciate your comments !

jeannegibbs Sep 2013
In addition to the questions Jessie asks, I'm wondering if you live together?

Does she have other disabling conditions besides the arthritis? Is the pain being managed well? Are there other lingering effects from the stroke?

It is surprising how much our perspective can change. When my husband first developed dementia it was a wonderful breakthrough when he could pay attention long enough to watch a short television program. I worked hard at finding videos that weren't too complicated, didn't have commercials, and could hold his interest. In our case, being able to watch programs was a blessing!

My mother's main activities are watching game shows on television and doing crossword puzzles, sometimes concurrently. I am glad she has something she enjoys. When she visits I will say, "Ma, when this show is over, let's shut off the tv for a while and look at some scrapbooks." After we are done, I put her programs back on. Her arthritis is severe and her walking is limited to going to the bathroom, the dining room, etc. It is not going to be practical for her to do much walking or standing up, but she loves matching up my clean socks, and folding towels. My mother is 93. I think the family might take a different view of television watching all the time if she were 67.

Medical specialists should be consulted about her feet.

Good luck to you as you care for your mother.

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JessieBelle Sep 2013
One big question I have is how old is she? Her overall condition doesn't sound good, so you may want to start with baby steps, such as folding clothes. My mother has serious arthritis and stenosis of her spine, but she is able to do things like wash the dishes by hand. She can lean on the sink. There are different small tasks that your mother may still be able to do, even with the loss of good use of one foot.

Has a foot or orthopedic specialist given you an information on what you might do to ease your mother's foot?

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