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Karendarling12 Asked July 2013

Mom thinks my stepfather is still alive and doesn't understand where he is. Should I tell her the truth or not?

I've been told to tell her the truth to any of these questions by a woman who worked with AD patients. She had training to always tell an Alzheimer's patient the truth. Some say just pretend you don't know where stepdad is. She thinks my Dad and sometimes her Mom and Dad are still alive. What is the right way to answer? She insists her Mom is still alive.

Jinx4740 Jul 2013
There was a thread on here about "Lying" to people with dementia. The concensus was that there is no point in telling them something again and again. It is better to say that "he is at work" or that mother will call again next week, or that we can go visit her next month.

I visited a woman once who told me her husband didn't come home last night. He had been dead for years, and the day before, she knew he was dead. In that case, I did remind her of the truth, and she wasn't too upset.

Sometimes it doesn't matter which you tell them because they will just forget it in an hour. I think always telling them the truth can be just downright mean.

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